Thursday, May 01, 2008
Attitude of Submission
I have been studying up on Biblical submission lately...*what it is* and *what it is not*. It is good to remind myself of things I already know...maybe I am not always living it out like I should. If you are like me, you may need to hear things a lot before it sinks in and really causes a life change. Somedays I submit and by God's grace, I can be the kind of wife He wants me to be....other days are not so good. One sermon I have been studying on lately is this one by John Piper. He says this about Biblical submission:
I love that wording because it shows that submission is an attitude...it is a disposition...not a blind following...or an external submission only. It is a love and respect that a wife has for her husband and she is willing to allow her husband to lead. A godly woman truly appreciates her husband's leadership and wants to follow that lead.
But, he goes on to say: (This is very important, too)
This encourages me to try and have the right attitude toward my husband. I know that when I submit to his leadership, I am also submitting to God.
Lord, help me to be the right kind of wife to bring You glory first of all...also that my husband will know how much he is adored and respected through my right attitude. Allow this attitude to be taught to my daughters as they watch me...even though I make mistakes, allow them to see my desire to be a godly wife. Amen.
Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. It’s the disposition to follow a husband’s authority and an inclination to yield to his leadership. It is an attitude that says, “I delight for you to take the initiative in our family. I am glad when you take responsibility for things and lead with love. I don’t flourish in the relationship when you are passive and I have to make sure the family works.”
I love that wording because it shows that submission is an attitude...it is a disposition...not a blind following...or an external submission only. It is a love and respect that a wife has for her husband and she is willing to allow her husband to lead. A godly woman truly appreciates her husband's leadership and wants to follow that lead.
But, he goes on to say: (This is very important, too)
But submission does not follow a husband into sin. What then does submission say in such a situation? It says, “It grieves me when you venture into sinful acts and want to take me with you. You know I can’t do that. I have no desire to resist you. On the contrary, I flourish most when I can respond joyfully to your lead; but I can’t follow you into sin, as much as I love to honor your leadership in our marriage. Christ is my King.”
The reason I say that submission is a disposition and an inclination to follow a husband’s lead is because there will be times in a Christian marriage when the most submissive wife, with good reason, will hesitate at a husband’s decision. It may look unwise to her. Suppose it’s Noël and I. I am about to decide something for the family that looks foolish to her. At that moment, Noël could express her submission like this: “Johnny, I know you’ve thought a lot about this, and I love it when you take the initiative to plan for us and take the responsibility like this, but I really don’t have peace about this decision and I think we need to talk about it some more. Could we? Maybe tonight sometime?”
The reason that is a kind of biblical submission is:
1) because husbands, unlike Christ, are fallible and ought to admit it
2) because husbands ought to want their wives to be excited about the family decisions, since Christ wants the church to be excited about following his decisions and not just follow begrudgingly
3) because the way Noël expressed her misgivings communicated clearly that she endorses my leadership and affirms me in my role as head
4) because she has made it clear to me from the beginning of our marriage that if, when we have done all the talking we should, we still disagree, she will defer to her husband’s decision.
This encourages me to try and have the right attitude toward my husband. I know that when I submit to his leadership, I am also submitting to God.
Lord, help me to be the right kind of wife to bring You glory first of all...also that my husband will know how much he is adored and respected through my right attitude. Allow this attitude to be taught to my daughters as they watch me...even though I make mistakes, allow them to see my desire to be a godly wife. Amen.
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
7 Comments:
I really needed to hear this tonight. Thank you so much!
Great post. I have been reading over and over "How to be His Help-Meet:, by Debbie Pearl(Greater Joy Ministries) and it expands on this topic. When I first had submissiveness pointed out to me a couple years ago, I took aback to it, as it is such a negative word in society, and I had been in an abusive relationship for years (wrong submissiveness). But when I really studies, and got into the nitty gritty of what true Godly submissiveness was it was wonderful. I still every day strive to be a great help meet and it is not always easy. Great post!!!
Carey
What a wonderful post. Submission is something I don't take lightly and when I do it with pure joy, our home life reflects it and my husband is the strong leader we need him to be. When I am sinful in my own desires, I can tell I have grieved the Holy Spirit and my joy is gone.
Bless you for all you do on His behalf. Thank you for sharing what you learn. I have learned a lot here!
Lovely post. This is an area that I always need to read and learn about. Good thoughts on this subject.
Wow, Kim! I love this post.
I definately need that reminder for myself often.
But also I love that this includes that submission isn't at all a blind following and "yes-siring" things.
I love that it says I can discuss with my husband the choices being made for our family without it being 'wrong'.
THANKS Kim!
oh - and if you ever visit Maggie Valley again, I will be a lot closer come June! We will definately meet for coffee! =)
A lovely post indeed! Even though it is not grammatically correct, I like to think of submission this way: sub-to be under, mission-life purpose. So I am to be under my husband's life purpose...under so as to support.
Oh for heaven's sake! What are you people thinking. Submission is what Jesus did (he was a man, yes flesh and blood man on earth and he submitted to his Father). It's not just what a wife does but what all Christians are to do, because Jesus did it. We submit to one another, husbands and wives, other folk in the church and family. It's the way of Christ. Not just the way of women to men.
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