And I am not talking about Iraq or the civil unrest that is going on in our world...I'm actually referring to something even more important. The war that is being fought on the turf of our children's hearts. It is a real war with very high stakes...it is the war of life. Aren't we all fighting this war? I don't know about you, but I feel the awesome weight and responsibility, as a parent, to be helping my children in this battle.

Are you the type parent that is preparing for certain situations to arise in the life of your children--with a plan already in place? Or are you always in the reactive parenting mode...the worst situation rears its ugly head and you are like a deer caught in the headlights of the upcoming disaster that is about to hit...and you have no idea what to do....nor do you have a plan. The results are a child not equipped for the fight and you reacting, usually emotionally, to the situation. It's hard, isn't it?

I can think of many times my husband and I have discussed how we will work through certain situations with our children as they unfold. We try to have a plan--a guide, so that we are not just reacting, but have looked ahead to know that our children are sinners just like everybody else is and the battle is for their souls. We want to be armed and ready for whatever may come our way. Some of the areas of discussion we have had have been over:

Dress styles...modesty issues
Boys and dating, courtship,etc
Sex
Wholesome speech vs unwholesome speech---gossip,slander,lying,etc.
Attitudes of covetousness
Jealousy

This list could go on and on...you get the idea. We are sinful and our children are,too! We want to know how to Biblically address all of these issues and more, so then when the time comes to address it, we have a plan. Most of these things should be addressed in child rearing even before they hit the teenage years...but maybe addressed more during those teens years. In the teen years, what is in the heart usually becomes evident.

Paul David Tripp says in his book, The Age of Opportunity:

Here's the point. Scripture says that life is a war! As I have said many times to my children. "There is a war out there. It is being fought on the turf of your heart. It is fought for the control of your soul. Each situation you face today is a skirmish in the war. Be careful, be aware of the battle. Don't forget that there is a scheming enemy out there who is out to deceive, divide, and destroy. Go out knowing that to win you must fight. You must not relax, you must not forget." We can not say this enough to our teenagers.

He goes on to say: (which I think is very true of us as parents)

There are 2 things that keep us from teaching our children to face and fight the spiritual struggle. First, there is a tendency on our part to be more worried about the world of the *seen* than about the world of the *unseen*, especially when it comes to our teenagers. We are more upset that they lost the job and about how that is going to affect their collegiate future than we are about the inner spiritual issues that God is revealing in that moment. We are more concerned about poor grades on the report card than we are about what those grades reveal about the spiritual condition of that child. We get angry that the room is a chaotic litter of dirty clothes, and we do not see the heart behind the mess. We are upset that the car is dented and make much more of the physical damage than we do the spiritual damage that may be taking place at the same time in the teen's life. We tell her that her outfit looks ridiculous, or complain that he drank the last of the milk, and that his music drives us crazy, all the while missing what is really of eternal importance.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for is an eternal weight of glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Why is Paul focused on the unseen? Because he knows that is what will last. The world and all its glories are passing away. Paul David Tripp says this,"The wise person lives for what can not be seen. The fool lives to build another barn to store away what is perishing and useless in the world to come. The wise person longs for spiritual blessing, the fool craves the physical reward. The wise person looks to eternity, the fool lives for the moment. Our teens focus on the *seen*...and you know what? We do,too! This really convicted my heart.

We must be focusing our children's hearts on the unseen...the lasting...we must help them see this battle that is going on. Christ is victorious over all of it...is our faith truly in Him? First and foremost, we must be constantly teaching our children about the gospel...Christ and His sacrifice for us...this is the only way for them to see the unseen and understand the importance of it. God has to open the eyes of their dead hearts.

So, we must pray for them...we must continually be sharing the gospel with them...they must see us focusing on the unseen--the things that will last. And we must be equipping them for the war. I must be very diligent in this--it is life or death.

Dear Father,
I am crying out to you...that you would open the eyes of my children's hearts to your saving grace and mercy. Please help them to see their sinfulness and your holiness. Help me be a faithful servant of yours by equipping my children, through your powerful Word, to withstand in the battle. Help them to fear You above all and see your plan for them. Please forgive me for the many times I have focused on the seen instead of the unseen. Help me to see what is lasting in your kingdom and not this world. IN Christ's Name, Amen.