I have been reading Elyse Fitzpatrick's book, Helper By Design. The book contains a lot of Biblical advice and wisdom for those of us who are wives or wives to be. I recommend it to anyone who is wanting God's perfect plan for their marriage.

Below are some statements that Elyse posed as a way to give our selves a "love test". A lot of these statements really hit home for me...I saw how often I do not show Christ's love to my husband in a way that is honoring to my Lord nor to my husband. First read 1 Corinthians 13 and then read through these. Be ready to have your heart convicted.

1) I'm more concerned about correct grammar and pronunciation than listening to what my husband says.

2) I enjoy being right and knowing the truth more than gently living out the truth.

3) I think that having miracle-producing faith is more important than than forgiveness and mercy.

4) Giving money to my church is more important than spending time with people.

5) I rarely complain when I don't get my way and am usually calm rather than disagreeable when my plans fall apart.

6) I am gentle and considerate, always looking for an opportunity to do good to others, especially my closest neighbor.

7) I'm just as happy when my husband gets time off as I would be if it were I. (Or in my case, getting time away and having a break from responsibilities at home.)

8) I never talk about my own accomplishments but rather spend time pointing out my husband's and other's accomplishments.

9) I love sharing what I have and don't care if others know that I'm their beneficiary or not.

10) I never speak in a rude way to anyone--not even in my heart.

11) I don't demand to have things my own way, nor do I think that my own way is always right. I frequently prefer my husband and desire that things go his way. I pray that God would change me before I concern myself with my husband's faults.

12) I am not irritable and never use my monthly cycle as an excuse for unkind words or actions.

13) I don't hold grudges--in fact, I find that people are frequently apologizing to me for offenses I wasn't even aware of.

14) I never smirk or say "I told you so" when my husband's foolishness finally comes home to roost.

15) I'm always glad when the good and truth prevails, even if it means that I might lose the "moral high ground".

16) I'm always faithful to my husband, seeking to display God's faithfulness to him.

17) I always believe the best about my husband and expect the best of him, and always stand my ground in defending him against injustice.

She goes on to say this, which I can really relate to:

So, how did you do? I don't know about you, but I'd rather take one of those fifty-cent "Love tests" in an arcade and be rated the last of the red hot lovers! Thank God that He's committed to changing our hearts and replacing our heart of stone with one that can truly love the way He does. I know that this is a high calling. It's much harder than merely making cookies or polishing shoes. It's immensely difficult for me, too. But, I trust that the Lord, who loves like this, is able to strengthen me with His grace when I desperately cry out for His help.

We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16