Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Abstain From Every Form of Evil--Discernment Part Two
John MacArthur's Truth for Today goes right along with my post yesterday. I just have to share it with you! We need to be teaching and preparing our children to have discernment so that they can resist temptation and sin. I am feeling this urgency to be focused on this...I think it is one of the most important things I can do. It takes lots of time and many conversations, but it will hopefully reap blessing upon blessing for their lives.
Here is what Dr. MacArthur has to say:
My husband and I are always trying to think of ways to impact our children's hearts. Teaching discernment has to come as we learn about God, who He is, and what He requires from us. So, we are always looking for ways to help them know God more and understand His ways better. As our children have gotten older, we can get more into what God requires and what defines holy living. We have to understand our own depravity and tendency to sin and turn from God's ways. We need to communicate this to our children(whatever their ages) in ways that makes an impact for them to really get it. Sin has to be defined and discussed. There is a fine line between knowing about sin and wickedness without them being exposed to it.
Some of the things we have done to help our children understand discernment and how to discern between God's ways and evil ways are:
1) Lots of conversations and *what if* scenarios...I can not count the many number of times we have brought up *made up* situations or sinful things(maybe gossip, slander,jealousy,etc) to explain why this is wrong and what God has to say about it. This happens on a daily basis probably. We teach them about sin and how to avoid it without exposing them to it in a positive light. Honestly, so many times, especially in school settings and with other teens, sin is laughed at or even applauded. I'm thankful we can protect our children from this faulty way of thinking and help them see the harm of sinful thoughts and actions.
2) We use lots of illustrations...stories,books, etc to show godliness in others. Positive examples of children and adults choosing to be obedient to God even when it is hard. Books and stories that shed a positive light on being sweet, putting others before yourself, and even laying down your life for your faith. I love the Lamplighter books for this. Also, missionary biographies are excellent resources for this.
3) We confess our own sinfulness to our children. We want them to see a humbleness in us...that we are not perfect,either. We need God's forgiveness, too. Also, when we show them how sensitive we are to our own sin, they start thinking that way,too. For example, I once shared with my daughter how I was sinfully putting my own desires and needs before my husband's and how that was dishonoring to the Lord. I had to ask God to forgive me. By doing this, I am teaching her to discern her own actions and to be examining herself more closely as well.
4) We expose our children to sound Biblical preaching and teaching. I know some of you say this is a given...well,it is not. Unfortunately, a lot of churches are not teaching the Bible. Weird, huh? We have decided that it is well worth our drive to be in a solid Bible teaching church...for the benefit of our own souls and to allow God to work in our children's hearts as a result of hearing expository preaching that practically and accurately teaches what it means to live a Christian life. God works in our hearts through His Word...and we are going to make every effort and deliberate decision to expose their hearts and minds to His Word in a corporate worship setting.
How are you teaching discernment to your children? I'd love to hear how other families are leading their children to walk in God's ways and resist sin. I'd love to hear from you!
Here is what Dr. MacArthur has to say:
Abstain from every form of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:22
Hatred of evil leads to avoidance of it. You can't dabble with sin and avoid falling into it. Refusing to be enticed by temptation, the righteous person's "delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night."(Psalm 1:2) You can't pursue righteousness and at the same time tolerate evil. That's why Paul counseled Timothy and all believers with this message: "Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." (2 Timothy 2:22)
My husband and I are always trying to think of ways to impact our children's hearts. Teaching discernment has to come as we learn about God, who He is, and what He requires from us. So, we are always looking for ways to help them know God more and understand His ways better. As our children have gotten older, we can get more into what God requires and what defines holy living. We have to understand our own depravity and tendency to sin and turn from God's ways. We need to communicate this to our children(whatever their ages) in ways that makes an impact for them to really get it. Sin has to be defined and discussed. There is a fine line between knowing about sin and wickedness without them being exposed to it.
Some of the things we have done to help our children understand discernment and how to discern between God's ways and evil ways are:
1) Lots of conversations and *what if* scenarios...I can not count the many number of times we have brought up *made up* situations or sinful things(maybe gossip, slander,jealousy,etc) to explain why this is wrong and what God has to say about it. This happens on a daily basis probably. We teach them about sin and how to avoid it without exposing them to it in a positive light. Honestly, so many times, especially in school settings and with other teens, sin is laughed at or even applauded. I'm thankful we can protect our children from this faulty way of thinking and help them see the harm of sinful thoughts and actions.
2) We use lots of illustrations...stories,books, etc to show godliness in others. Positive examples of children and adults choosing to be obedient to God even when it is hard. Books and stories that shed a positive light on being sweet, putting others before yourself, and even laying down your life for your faith. I love the Lamplighter books for this. Also, missionary biographies are excellent resources for this.
3) We confess our own sinfulness to our children. We want them to see a humbleness in us...that we are not perfect,either. We need God's forgiveness, too. Also, when we show them how sensitive we are to our own sin, they start thinking that way,too. For example, I once shared with my daughter how I was sinfully putting my own desires and needs before my husband's and how that was dishonoring to the Lord. I had to ask God to forgive me. By doing this, I am teaching her to discern her own actions and to be examining herself more closely as well.
4) We expose our children to sound Biblical preaching and teaching. I know some of you say this is a given...well,it is not. Unfortunately, a lot of churches are not teaching the Bible. Weird, huh? We have decided that it is well worth our drive to be in a solid Bible teaching church...for the benefit of our own souls and to allow God to work in our children's hearts as a result of hearing expository preaching that practically and accurately teaches what it means to live a Christian life. God works in our hearts through His Word...and we are going to make every effort and deliberate decision to expose their hearts and minds to His Word in a corporate worship setting.
How are you teaching discernment to your children? I'd love to hear how other families are leading their children to walk in God's ways and resist sin. I'd love to hear from you!
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
12 Comments:
You are teaching me. Thanks so much for sharing.
Kim -
I don't have any answers for this one - yet. Since my girls are still so young we are just getting started on this topic/ BUT let me tell you it scares me to death.
One of the prayers I pray every night over my girls is that God will help me become the woman he wants me to be so that I can help them become the women he has called them to be.
I will check back for other's ideas too!
THANKS!
Dear Kim,
Since you asked, I will share with you a little of what I do. My husband and I keep a journal for each one of our five children; although, honestly, I do most of the journaling. Every now and then, I might leave one of the journals on his pillow and he'll write a little something in it. I've also gotten grandparents, aunts and uncles to share a little in them when they are visiting. Anyway, once a month, I try to write them each a letter and a prayer. (I also leave in spaces for pictures that I go back and add whenever I get the time.) Their "special books" are no secret and we have shared some precious moments going through them together. But one of my main purposes for doing the journals is so that when they go off to college one day, they will have a handful of prayers and letters-- examples of Godly influence--from their parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles to take with them.
Hannah!
I love that idea!!! That will be precious to them. Thanks for sharing it!
Kim
Kim~
Your thoughts here are great! It is great to see your heart and your desires for your children.
We are big on scripture memory. God's word is our offensive weapon and it is so important to know it! I want them to have it in their hearts, I want it to be part of them. I want it to pop into their minds in those situations where they need discernment.
My mom is unbelievable in this area...we call her "the walking bible" she has so much memorized, and knows her bible so well. I want to be this way, and I want my children to be this way (They spend a lot of time with their grandma!).
Yes,That is very important! Thanks for sharing that! When we know God's Word, we can recall His will for particular situations! I love that! My oldest has been memorizing some short books of the Bible as well as passages like Romans chapters 5-8 at the Youth scripture memory program at our church...I am amazed at how much she has memorized!!!
Kim
Good post---thanks for sharing!
Many blessings...
This is such a wonderful post. Your list is similar to mine.
Our goal is to address the heart issue as well as the behavior. It can't be just how they are responding to "me" the parent but more about how they are responding to "God". Like MacArthur said, we want their hearts desire to be that of a hatred towards sin and evil.
I am constantly reminding them (and myself) that the outside influences are not the faulty source of their behavior....it is from their own sinful hearts. Not placing blame or seeking recognition. Sibling relationships are such a great foundation for teaching self-sacrifice, humility, and Christ-like love.
Thank you for sharing your heart :)
Kim,
Great thoughts as usual! As with Kim from Mercy Days, my list is very similar. It is such a balance of being in the world but not of it. I also agree that it is all about the heart. Empty action are just that, empty. God will bless our desire and our commitment to train godly children.
My list is similar as well. Addressing the heart issue and not just the behavior is so important.
Thanks for sharing how you do this, Kim!!
Your example of things you've done to help your children have been very helpful. I am now in a season of teaching my 2 year old daughter how it is not acceptable to hit and throw things when you don't have your way and also getting my 18 year old son off the college with all that is needed physically and most definitely spiritually. I made many mistakes with my son and I pray that I will be able to use what I have learned to help my daughter. Thanks for sharing.
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