Wednesday, June 04, 2008
A Girls' Weekend Away
Abigail, our 13 year old, and I enjoyed a fun time away recently...just me and her! I have done this with both of the older girls mainly for some pretty serious girls talk about...Se*x,Roman*ce, and the Glory of God...as CJ Mahaney calls it! I did this with Gracie, also, but she was a little younger, mainly because she had so many questions! Constant questions, in fact. Some of Gracie's questions from a young age were..."How does a baby look like the mommy and the daddy?" And then when she could read, she read words on billboards and things she saw, and she was constantly asking me all about things related to that subject. I always told her that I will be glad to explain it all to her when it was the right time. She was patient and finally when she asked me what *r*ape* was(she had read it somewhere), I knew we had to address it. So, she was about 10 years old. Abigail, on the other hand, has never asked anything about it...she has been a sweet innocent child for a long time, just playing and staying busy without asking about it. When we talked about it on our weekend, she said she never asked because she knew we would tell her when we felt it was the right time. Sweet girl!
And, thankfully, she had not heard anything about it from others. So, what she learned from me was her first hearing about it. That is a blessing!
I addressed all of it from a Biblical perspective, explaining how God created it to be a beautiful thing and that so many blessings come from a marriage relationship. I also told her how sinful man has made it a bad thing, through man's distortion and per*version of God's perfect plan. I think the conversation went well. I like doing this on a weekend away from the rest of the family, so that when questions come up we can address them right then. So we discussed it on and off all weekend.
The rest of the weekend consisted of shopping, eating out, movie watching, a walk to Starbuck's, and more shopping. I let Abigail get a few things, like a new outfit/dress for Church, some white sunglasses, and some other clothes for summer...oh yeah, and a swimsuit! It is always a challenge to find appropriate clothes and especially swimsuits...but we did find a cute brown and pink one piece with a brown Hawaiian print short to wear over it.
We had a wonderful time together. One thing Mike and I have learned over the years is that one-on-one time is very important with all of the children and if we don't plan it, we will never do it. It has to be intentional and made to be a very special time. I hope it will be a sweet memory for Abigail!
I am missing Abigail this week...she is away at camp and we will get her on Saturday!
And, thankfully, she had not heard anything about it from others. So, what she learned from me was her first hearing about it. That is a blessing!
I addressed all of it from a Biblical perspective, explaining how God created it to be a beautiful thing and that so many blessings come from a marriage relationship. I also told her how sinful man has made it a bad thing, through man's distortion and per*version of God's perfect plan. I think the conversation went well. I like doing this on a weekend away from the rest of the family, so that when questions come up we can address them right then. So we discussed it on and off all weekend.
The rest of the weekend consisted of shopping, eating out, movie watching, a walk to Starbuck's, and more shopping. I let Abigail get a few things, like a new outfit/dress for Church, some white sunglasses, and some other clothes for summer...oh yeah, and a swimsuit! It is always a challenge to find appropriate clothes and especially swimsuits...but we did find a cute brown and pink one piece with a brown Hawaiian print short to wear over it.
We had a wonderful time together. One thing Mike and I have learned over the years is that one-on-one time is very important with all of the children and if we don't plan it, we will never do it. It has to be intentional and made to be a very special time. I hope it will be a sweet memory for Abigail!
Abigail and I at our home before leaving for our fun weekend away. The bags are packed and we are ready!
We stayed in the Embassy Suites, which is always nice. My sweet husband made all the arrangements for our weekend away. We just went and enjoyed. This particular Embassy Suites is right across the street from a Japanese restaurant, where we ate dinner, and Starbucks! It was really nice to just walk over to Starbucks later that night for a decaf latte and scone. After dinner and some shopping, we went to Starbucks and then back to the hotel to watch National Treasure Part 2.
We enjoyed our spacious room!
Here we are sitting outside Mimi's Cafe getting ready for our Saturday brunch!
A candid shot from Abigail...enjoying some ice tea at Mimi's Cafe. Just lovely! Ha!
The delicious lemon cream cheese muffin...I did splurge off of my healthy eating for this weekend! It was worth it--this muffin was so good! We, also, enjoyed delicious quiche, salad, and fresh fruit along with the muffin Yum!
I am missing Abigail this week...she is away at camp and we will get her on Saturday!
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
26 Comments:
Great job, Mom!!!
My older daughter is 13 and my husband joined in on our talk, because he felt that it was important for her to hear a "man's view", too.
I sure wish that more mother's took the time to explain God's design for making love such as you have.
Now... I guess that a good weekend away sounds like fun and I should make arrangements for this. What a precious time! Thanks for the inspiration!
What a lovely weekend!
As my three girls get a little older and go to school - I am beginning to fear what they will hear and learn.
I may take up this tradition from you also -- time away with each girl is a good way to have a big talk like this one.
Thanks for sharing!!!
OH - and AMEN on the swimsuits.
I found myself just a couple of weeks ago having to explain AGAIN to my 6 year old why I won't allow her to wear bikini's......ugghhh. My only hope is that by 12 - she will choose for herself to wear appropriate clothing....
I LOVED my getaway with my daughter. In fact, recently I drove past the hotel where we had stayed, and the French bistro where we had dinner and had such a wonderful flashback. I have seen such fruit from our time away and the conversations we had. You're right... you have to plan it or it'll never happen. I'm glad y'all had fun, and I just said a prayer for her week at camp!
I purchased "Passport to Purity" from FamilyLife awhile back, and intend to use that with our oldest daughter, 13. But I'll be studying it first, and leaving out what I consider too much information.
Two questions: Did you find yourself nervous before your getaway, and if so, how did you get over that? And what was your "lead in" - how did you get into it with her?
What a wonderful and special time. Several years ago I heard Dr. Dobson talk about doing this very thing and I plan to do this with my daughter at the appropriate time.
Thank you again--your posts are timely and uplifting. I appreciate your transparency and feel so fortunate to have found your blog. I enjoy what I learn from you.
One day I hope you will write a post about your schedule and how you accomplish it all. Especially how to fit in family devotions and homeschooling, housework, excercising, and extracuricular activities!
I love these posts from you! My daughter recently turned 9, and since her birthday I've been more intentional about spending one-on-one time with her on Saturdays. She is loving it!!! We've had a lot of fun just playing around our town. It's like I'm getting to know her all over again since she's not a baby or little child anymore. SHE'S NINE!!! ACK!
But she is reading everything she sees. (So is my 7 year old son, but that's another story). Every single commercial and ad she reads has the word sexy in it -- even ones for phones! So, I know our girly get-away will be soon. She's still very innocent, though. I'm just getting prepared. Thank you so much for writing about how you address this with your daughters.
Kim~
You are such an AMAZING Mom!! In our culture today too many parents neglect the importance of "training up a child in the way they should go"; and I know God is SO pleased with how you are training up your children with HIS help!
To this day, I still plan get-a-ways with my daughter...although she will be 20 this year, we so look forward to those times.
The young men who find your daughters, will TRULY be blessed!!
Keep up the great job, and keep posting about these events. I believe they truly inspire other Mom's!
Blessings to you!
Kim~
What a wonderful way to approach such a precious yet delicate subject.
So glad it was such a lovely and memorable weekend for you and your daughter.
Blessings!
So fun!! Can't wait until my girls are old enough to do that sort of thing together. How wonderful that you were the first person she heard everything from! Makes me want to homeschool all the more. These days it is quite horrifying what even tiny elementary age children know! Thanks for showing us a different way.
Kim, this might be one of my favorite posts from you. I just love your intentionality with your girls - what a fabulous idea!!! I would love to hear more of what that conversation starter looked like! Is that something you could share...even through email?
I love how your daughter just trusted ya'll for 'the right time' - says so much about your parenting and God's abundant grace in ya'lls family!!!
What a beautiful, beautiful time!!!
Thank you for sharing about your special weekend, your thoughts, actions, and obvious love for your daughter brought tears to my eyes. What a truly amazing weekend for both of you -- one that I'm sure will impact her for the rest of her life. And, how what a perfect way to pave a path of open and honest dialog between the two of you.
As a mother I am challenged by your example to be intentional as I spend time with my children.
I did this with both of our girls when they were 12 and then Jeff met us for a special dinner on the second night. That's when we talked about dating and gave them each a purity ring. Very sweet memories! So glad you and Abigail had a great time together.
Leah-I used the PTP program with our girls too. My "lead in" was a fancy invitation that I printed on the computer and mailed to them, telling them where we were going, what we would be talking about (generally), etc. It was fun! I would definitely preview the PTP program before you go. I didn't think anything was "too much information" but I guess that depends on the child. Some of it was a little "cheesy" (songs especially) but we just skipped those with a giggle! Also, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY before you go! My husband prayed with me and I prayed with each of the girls before we left. And don't be embarrassed or afraid to let them know you are nervous too! I cried both times! They are just as nervous as you and it will put you both at ease to share that. Feel free to giggle and blush and be open together. It will be fine! I promise! Have fun!
One more thing: If any of you are looking for a GREAT and memorable thing to do with your daughters, read Robin Jones Gunn's book "Gentle Passages". It's wonderful! I used her suggestions with our oldest daughter and plan to do it with our next daughter as well. Okay. I'm done now! :-)
How sweet and fun! I am overdue for some individual time with each of my girls but we did spend last Saturday together (the entire day) looking for appropriate swimsuits! It took all day! Where did you end up finding yours?
I am looking forward to my getaway weekend with Hannah next year for her 14th birthday. I am grateful for all the precious resources you have shared with us and it has helped me to prepare for such a special time together :)
I found Abigail's swimsuit at Sports Academy...it is brown with pink trim and reversible, so it can be pink with brown trim. The shorts are brown and white hawaiian print. It is more of a sporty look, but it looks really cute on her, plus with the shorts on it is very modest. She will wear the shorts mostly unless we are just swimming at home.
I hope you and Hannah have a wonderful time together!
My husband has done this with our two older boys, and I think it is great. They loved the one-on-one time with their dad for a whole weekend. It is interesting how different kids are ready for discussing these topics at different times. Our youngest son is the age right now that the other boys were when they went, but he is definitely not ready yet. I'm glad that you and Abigail had a wonderful time together!
God bless your love for your daughter, and Abigail's sweet heart. Spending that time alone is so important when having *the* conversation. Enjoyed your post and the pics.
What a fun weekend. You are right, if you don't plan intentional one on one time with children, it just won't happen. I can see that even with a 4 year old and a 2 year old.
Your pictures at Mimi's Cafe reminded me of my last visit (before moving) with my good friend Gail (Hamline). It STILL makes me really sad to think about! :( Their muffins are REALLY good, aren't they!
We are planning on doing this with our kids! Glad to hear it went well! Love Mimi's!
I remember Abigail's two-year old birthday party in your backyard!! I cannot believe what a kind, lovely young woman she has matured into it. (well, I CAN believe it - I had no doubts!!) What a blessing and a treasure you are sharing with her (and all your kiddos) Having those open lines of communication already is so wonderful. I already look forward to those special mom/daughter times with holland. =)
This is a wonderful idea, Kim!
What a wonderful WONDERFUL time y'all had!!!! Blessed, sweet memories!!! Thank you for sharing that with us. I definitely want to do something like this with Elizabeth once she starts asking all those questions. :)
His,
Mrs. U
I think it is wonderful that you do this with your girls. I pray that God will enable me to have such a great relationship and open communication with Eliana as grows.
Kim,
After discovering your blog last week I was delighted to spend the weekend reading your posts and wanted to thank you for sharing so many details about your family, your walk with the Lord and your passion in raising up your children to be pure and protected. As I have savored each of your posts I have been encouraged in my journey to know the Lord in a deeper more intimate way, strengthened in our recent decision to Homeschool our 3 children next year and ignited to preserve and protect my children from the trappings of the world. Thank you for always providing resources and books. I now have a long list of wonderful books to read to my girls as well as reading to strengthen my soul too. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use your words and dedication to your family as a source of encouragement to another mom. I am blessed today. You truly are a wonderful wife and mom and I am delighted to have spent some time getting to know you.
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