Thursday, July 09, 2009
Our Adoption Journey
I have received quite a few emails asking about our adoption and I appreciate each one of you thinking of us and asking about us...and most of all for your prayers. Many have asked about my adoption blog and why it has been made private. The reason for that is there has just not been anything to post on lately. The wait continues on and we stand at a crossroads of sorts praying about what this means for our family.
As most of you know, when we began the process of international adoption from China, the wait was 12 months for a referral. It seems as soon as our paperwork logged into China(9-2-06) the wait started growing...first it was 14-16 months...then 18 months...then 24 months...all of that was fine and we still were willing to wait. During that time we thought for sure the wait issues would get worked out and would get back down to the normal 12-18 month wait. The wait has always fluctuated and we just saw this as one of those times where it would get back and we would receive a referral in the coming months. Not so. The wait has not shortened...but has grown longer and continues to do so.
We prayed so much about switching to special needs...but could not do it. I admire so much those of you who have adopted a special needs child. I know it takes a very special family to do that. We are not that family. Both Mike and I felt that was not in the best interest of our family. I have aging parents with lots of needs right now...we have 4 other children who we are homeschooling...the unknowns of special needs were a bit frightening to us(emotionally, financially, and just practically on a daily basis being able to so what that child would need) and we just do not think it was for us. As sad as that is, it is the truth. I know adopting a special needs child is not for everybody and as we prayed and researched it, we knew this was not God's plan for us.
Right now, I believe those who have March 2006 log in dates are receiving, or have received, referrals. It is taking about 6 months to get through one month of referral dates at the rate it is moving right now(so slow)...so that means with us being 6 months behind where they are right now, it could be possibly 36 more months for us. That would be a 6 year wait-total.
We are not withdrawing our paperwork or anything drastic like that...but we are of the mindset right now, that we may not possibly be able do this afterall. Sad, yes. But, God has been so kind to give us contentment in this. I can not explain it in human capabilities...because with as excited as we were to do this in the beginning, I never would have thought that I would or could give up on such a sweet dream of mine. My mind was set on doing this and I could not wait to have my daughter in my arms. God's grace covers all of that---somehow. This is not me, but the Lord working in my heart. In my human selfishness, I would be kicking and screaming...not willing to let go. But, God in His kindness, has given Mike and I both a trust in His sovereignty through our disappointment.
Although no final decision has been made, this is where we are. If it takes 2-3 more years, we will probably not follow through with the adoption. If the wait shortens, we will pray about what we should do at that point. As of right now, there are no signs of the wait getting any shorter. So, that may be our answer.
Thank you so much for your prayers. I began this blog when we started the adoption process...and since then this blog has come to mean so much to me...a place where I can share what the Lord has been teaching me and working on my heart about. It is so much more than a family journal or a way to write about the adoption. It has been a spiritual journey for me. I have learned so much from so many of you...and have been encouraged greatly through many of your sweet words. Thank you so much for that!
Just please continue to pray for us...that we would KNOW how to proceed and that we would have God's wisdom as we seek to glorify Him above all.
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
11 Comments:
Thanks for the update, Kim. I can't believe the wait is so long! It's so sad to me that those kids are still sitting there in orphanages waiting to be adopted. I will pray for continued grace and wisdom as you walk this road.
I am so grateful for your update. I have thought of you and your family often over these last couple of years and prayed for Lydia by name ... knowing that is purposed in and of itself.
Sharing your heart and God's great work in your life has been such a blessing to me. Imparting the perfect wisdom found in His word over marriage, parenting, and the beauty of a biblical womanhood has left such an impact ... more than you know.
I am sure that being so far away from some of your readers, it can seem as though the friendships are not tangible ... yet they are! These last few years of blogging have been such a gift to me as I began homeschooling and my family grew! Some of my greatest support and resources come from a few precious bloggers who I met online and now am fortunate enough to call friends.
No matter where you end up in this journey, it has been a privilege to walk with you thus far. Please continue to keep us posted. His grace in your life is evident in your utter dependence on Him.
Blessings Kim!
Kim, I will be praying for your family too. The Lord has given me such joy in praying for my blogging "friends". :)
We have a somewhat similar story, not exactly but it reminded me of what we have been going through. I hope sharing it here is ok. I will try not to be too long. ;)
My husband and I have desired to adopt for such a long time. We have prayed,researched and made some steps in that direction but nothing really took place. Four years ago, we took a required 12 week class through our county to adopt domestically. God has also given me a desire to do something in the area of foster care. Well, right at the end of that class, we learned we were expecting our daughter. We then needed to wait until she was at least one to begin the process again. By that time, our hours had expired and we had been praying about international adoption. We felt led to India. We submitted all of our paperwork, started our home study and approximately 3 months later, we learned my husband would be losing his job. His company had a wonderful adoption assistance program. We knew we could not pursue things when he was unemployed. Two months later, we learned we were expecting again and then a short time later God provided another job for my husband.
We know the concept of adoption is something the Lord has introduced to us by allowing us to be part of His family in Christ. I know He is for adoption but like so many other things, His timing can be different than our own. I am keeping my heart open to whatever He might have for us as being a family who would love and welcome a child He would bring us in His timing.
You are an example to me of waiting on Him in this process. I will be praying He keeps your hearts open and receptive to what He calls you to do.:)
Blessings,
Kim
I know God has a plan here. This has been for a reason. The end result may not be the sweet Lydia (I think that was the name you chose,I may be wrong) you so wanted, but somewhere along the road, HIS plan will/has become evident. Thanking HIM for HIS plan.
Your family is such a great example of God's love. I am always refreshed and renewed when I read your blog.
I am thankful, too, to read your update, dear Kim. I've prayed for your family a number of times regarding your adoption, and I am also watching a couple in our small group from church wait like you are currently doing. Their LID is later than yours, so I know their wait will be interminably long as well.
Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty on this tender issue of the heart. I will continue to pray for God's guidance as you wait.
Thanks for the update and your account as to where your discernment has led you right now. One person's call from God is not the same as another's. Blessings.
Praying for you, Kim. God is so faithful, and I am glad you are being enveloped by God's grace.
I know the Lord will bless your willingness to serve Him in obedience, whatever He asks and wherever He leads!
I will continue to pray for you on this journey!
Praying for you and your family, Kim. The wait is so sad and it breaks my heart for the waiting children. So thankful for peace for you. Praying that the process will speed up.
I enjoy your blog!
Kim, haven't dropped by for a long time - appreciate your update...
Thanks for your candor about SN adoption. We, too, have felt pressure from others to switch to SN, and, like you, for many reasons, do not feel this is best for our family. We have researched SN adoption, as well as foster/adoption, but just don't feel God leading us there, the way we felt His leading many other times through our adoption processes...
Our LID is 3.14.06 - almost 3 yers wait so far! We're hanging in there! I appreciate folks asking us how it's going, but really, how many times can you explain the waiting? And some days are better than others for me...
Glad to be connected again - looking forward to catching up on your blog...
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