Friday, May 11, 2007
Homeschooling Part 2
I don't know if all of you know this, but I was a public school teacher before having our first child. I taught for 2 years...I do not have much experience, but I did observe a lot while I was there in the midst of public school education.
Let me introduce you to one of my 5th grade students. I will call him *Jay*. Jay had been in a mental health facility for young people prior to being in my class. Jay had problems that went beyond what a normal public school teacher could help with---although I did give it my best. But, not being able to show Jay where the real help was(in the Bible--through a saving knowledge of the Gospel), I felt choked in what I could say and could not say. That was frustrating. Jay had been neglected as a baby and was found at 18 months old- alone and in a playpen (the details of this is too disturbing to type out). His birth mother was an alcoholic so he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome...she had neglected him and he was living in unfit living conditions. Jay was then taken out of her custody and adopted. From what I knew, his adopted mother was also an alcoholic...and I'm not sure what all went on in his childhood. His situation was very sad...
But what really made me sad was what the other children in my class had to be exposed to. You see, in the public schools, there are all kinds of children from all kinds of situations...we all know they need Christ. But, because of the laws decided upon by liberal judges, we are not allowed to share that with them. We can try to control their behavior and make them conform to a set of rules, but even that does not always help protect the other students. I had a wonderful class, full of sweet girls and boys...a few behavior problems but all in all, they liked school and wanted to learn. Jay started out the year really well. He was quiet and kind. That lasted about a week. There was a form I had to fill out for him everyday for his social worker. I had to let her know if he stayed in his seat, was cooperative, followed the rules, and treated the other students properly. The first week I could check all the things he was supposed to do...the next week, it started to get worse. I noticed his interaction with the other students becoming more inappropriate. He was very angry with them and often pushed and shoved...he also began having problems on the playground. This involved inappropriate actions towards the girls...s*e*x*uall*y inappropriate...which was really hard for the principal and I to deal with. These girls were gra*b*bed, tou*ch*ed, and basically j*um*ped on by this disturbed young boy. Jay began yelling out pro*fan*ities in the middle of my teaching...he had to leave the room almost everyday due to this. We did everything we knew to do to control his behavior...it didn't work. I tell you about Jay, not to scare you, but to open your eyes to the lives of children who are being mis*tre*ated in this evil culture we live in and the results of these sins do affect our everyday life. Children are being exposed to these kind of things everyday...that is the truth. Now,I realize some of you are saying we should be salt and light in a sinful world and be there to help the Jays of the world...but exposing our children to this occasionally to be salt and light can be tolerable and it can also be disturbing to a young child...but think about exposing them to this day after day after day...8 hours a day and 5 days a week. We should do what we can to share the gospel with those in need and even be a quiet example...but how far do we take this? Are young children supposed to be salt and light and missionaries in a school setting? In Jesus's sermon on the mount did he mean that we should expose our children to evil in order to be salt and light? Adults can handle it...but children can not. I think there are many ways to be salt and light and shining our light before men, without exposing our children to evil. I realize this is an extreme case and not every classroom must deal with this same type of situation...sometimes it is more subtle sinfulness and that makes it even harder to teach and correct at home after the school day is over...especially if you don't even know about what happened during the day. It is just really sobering to think about. But, to be guarding our children's hearts we must help them see the dangers of walking with the wicked.
There are many scriptures that warn against this:
I'm sure there are more Scriptures related to this, but these are the ones I thought of. My girls were never around anyone like Jay in school, and I am very thankful for that. The reality is, though, we live in a sinful evil world with a culture that is hostile to the things of God...It is not the teacher's fault nor is it the principals and administrators...the laws have been changed over time to allow for more of the world and less of God and Biblical principles in our public education. The children have and will suffer.
These are some of the thoughts that have brought us to where we are today in regards to our children's education. We truly want them to have a *Christian education* that allows for more scripture in their hearts, more prayers in their minds and hearts, and more academics centered around God's Word and His Truth. As they learn and grow under this, they can and will go out to share Christ to a lost world.
I will be adding more to this series in a while...
Let me introduce you to one of my 5th grade students. I will call him *Jay*. Jay had been in a mental health facility for young people prior to being in my class. Jay had problems that went beyond what a normal public school teacher could help with---although I did give it my best. But, not being able to show Jay where the real help was(in the Bible--through a saving knowledge of the Gospel), I felt choked in what I could say and could not say. That was frustrating. Jay had been neglected as a baby and was found at 18 months old- alone and in a playpen (the details of this is too disturbing to type out). His birth mother was an alcoholic so he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome...she had neglected him and he was living in unfit living conditions. Jay was then taken out of her custody and adopted. From what I knew, his adopted mother was also an alcoholic...and I'm not sure what all went on in his childhood. His situation was very sad...
But what really made me sad was what the other children in my class had to be exposed to. You see, in the public schools, there are all kinds of children from all kinds of situations...we all know they need Christ. But, because of the laws decided upon by liberal judges, we are not allowed to share that with them. We can try to control their behavior and make them conform to a set of rules, but even that does not always help protect the other students. I had a wonderful class, full of sweet girls and boys...a few behavior problems but all in all, they liked school and wanted to learn. Jay started out the year really well. He was quiet and kind. That lasted about a week. There was a form I had to fill out for him everyday for his social worker. I had to let her know if he stayed in his seat, was cooperative, followed the rules, and treated the other students properly. The first week I could check all the things he was supposed to do...the next week, it started to get worse. I noticed his interaction with the other students becoming more inappropriate. He was very angry with them and often pushed and shoved...he also began having problems on the playground. This involved inappropriate actions towards the girls...s*e*x*uall*y inappropriate...which was really hard for the principal and I to deal with. These girls were gra*b*bed, tou*ch*ed, and basically j*um*ped on by this disturbed young boy. Jay began yelling out pro*fan*ities in the middle of my teaching...he had to leave the room almost everyday due to this. We did everything we knew to do to control his behavior...it didn't work. I tell you about Jay, not to scare you, but to open your eyes to the lives of children who are being mis*tre*ated in this evil culture we live in and the results of these sins do affect our everyday life. Children are being exposed to these kind of things everyday...that is the truth. Now,I realize some of you are saying we should be salt and light in a sinful world and be there to help the Jays of the world...but exposing our children to this occasionally to be salt and light can be tolerable and it can also be disturbing to a young child...but think about exposing them to this day after day after day...8 hours a day and 5 days a week. We should do what we can to share the gospel with those in need and even be a quiet example...but how far do we take this? Are young children supposed to be salt and light and missionaries in a school setting? In Jesus's sermon on the mount did he mean that we should expose our children to evil in order to be salt and light? Adults can handle it...but children can not. I think there are many ways to be salt and light and shining our light before men, without exposing our children to evil. I realize this is an extreme case and not every classroom must deal with this same type of situation...sometimes it is more subtle sinfulness and that makes it even harder to teach and correct at home after the school day is over...especially if you don't even know about what happened during the day. It is just really sobering to think about. But, to be guarding our children's hearts we must help them see the dangers of walking with the wicked.
There are many scriptures that warn against this:
Proverbs 4:14-19
14 Do not enter the path of the wicked,
and do not walk in the way of the evil.
15 Avoid it; do not go on it;
turn away from it and pass on.
16 For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong;
they are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble.
17 For they eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.
18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
which shines brighter and brighter until full day.
19 The way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know over what they stumble.
1 Corinthians 15:33
33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
Psalm 1:1-2
1:1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 22:5
Thorns and snares are in the way of the crooked;
whoever guards his soul will keep far from them.
I'm sure there are more Scriptures related to this, but these are the ones I thought of. My girls were never around anyone like Jay in school, and I am very thankful for that. The reality is, though, we live in a sinful evil world with a culture that is hostile to the things of God...It is not the teacher's fault nor is it the principals and administrators...the laws have been changed over time to allow for more of the world and less of God and Biblical principles in our public education. The children have and will suffer.
These are some of the thoughts that have brought us to where we are today in regards to our children's education. We truly want them to have a *Christian education* that allows for more scripture in their hearts, more prayers in their minds and hearts, and more academics centered around God's Word and His Truth. As they learn and grow under this, they can and will go out to share Christ to a lost world.
I will be adding more to this series in a while...
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
18 Comments:
Dear Kim,
I am curious about what state you were teaching in. I do know that in some parts of the country, especially the southeast, the schools are all-inclusive. But in other parts of the country a student like Jay would be in a special education school - mainstreaming of students as diasbled as he was does not occur. Thankfully, we lived in a part of the country where my children did not have to be exposed to the type of behavior you describe. Public schools can be really bad, but also can be excellent. I agree they are not based on a Christian education anywhere, but if parents are careful about choosing where they live, it is possible to avoid the type of situation you have described.
Jay may have ended up in an alternative or special ed classroom...I don't know since I left teaching to raise my children after that year. But, either these kinds of extreme cases or even more subtle wickedness is observed on a daily basis. I would hope that the extreme ones like Jay would be dealt with properly.
Kim-
This post is wonderful. Just wonderful. Here's the deal. Even missionaries have "other" missionaries to cling to. Adults. People who they can seek advise from and in the worst cases of scenarios, even remove themselves from a dangerous situation. When a child is in a public school environment it fails to mimick the real world because it gives the child absolutely no recourse...no where to go.
I must respectfully disagree with Sally's opinion. We (VA) have both mainstreaming and separate "special education". Still, you will find children with behavior like Jay in *all* levels, including honors level, gifted base programs. Why? Sin. Lack of parenting. No consistency within the administration. Jay was unique in that he had a history that led to this behavior, but there are kids every single day whose only excuse is that no one has given that child a Christian upbringing and sin is not exposed...at home....or at school.
The bottom line is that without Christ and with the teachers literally behind hand-tied in regard to what they can say, you will have these same situations occur all over the nation in every type of school. Kids are exposed to all kinds of different lifestyles, including wealthy and bright children. They bring their secular worldviews to the school and they share them with my children. Who is there to combat that view? Who is there to point to the truth? No one.
Sorry to go on a rant. I love your post today and will link it to my blog. You saved me a post :)
Sally is right about choosing carefully where you live and even selecting public schools that are "excellent". Still, at the end of the day our question was,
"Excellence for what?"
For training up my children in the commands of the Lord? For teaching a biblical worldview?
No. No matter how excellent the public school may be, they will always fall short in this area.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kim. I look forward to hearing more of it!
My mother is an elementary school counselor, here in Washington state and I can attest that her school has more than a few Jays. The emphasis seems to be on mainstreaming a lot of special needs students, including those with serious psychological and emotional issues. These troubled young people need more help than the school can give them. Unfortunately, what they needed were loving parents. And, of course, what they need the most (Jesus!) is something my mother cannot share.
It's such a struggle. Like you, my heart breaks for the Jays of the world. We, as Christians, are called to help neglected/abused/abandoned children. The Bible instructs us to look after orphans. Once my children are grown, I pray for the opportunity to be a foster parent or to adopt older or special needs children.
But until that season of life arrives, I have to focus on this season and my current calling to raise up my own children to be godly, godfearing, and godloving.
Until my son is less impressionable and more likely to influence others than to be influenced BY others, I have to protect him. That's has to be my priority.
I'm sorry I've written so much but I'm just so interested in this topic and looking forward to your future thoughts!
Kim,
Another beautiful post! I definetly agree with you. I think far too often parents even think a good "Christian Private School" is the safe answer, but as the children get older many kids like "Jay" are sent there as a last hope or a last resort. So in our home we don't feel that a PCS is even an option worth reviewing...but again that is just in OUR home.
In Texas there is definetely mainstreaming and special ed classes as well, and it is hard for the teachers like yourself....and even now days there is no change, except for going more PC than worrying about the childrens actual eduation.
Wonderfully well said! I live in Maryland and here, too, mainstreaming is a big thing. Public schools do love trends, and this one is the current one. There seems to be very little concern for the 'regular' kids and what they are exposed to. Kids like Jay are NOT, hopefully, an example of the society at large and my child needs and deserves as much consideration as the Jays of the world.
Irina
Kim,
I have enjoyed reading your two posts on Homeschooling. Although Dallas and I do not have children yet, we have already felt a calling to homeschooling. We are doing everything we can now, to make that possible in the future.
I taught in the public schools in Texas, and ran across many students who needed so badly to hear the Word of God. I taught elementary music, so I saw 350 kids three times a week. What blessing to be able to have influence over that many children. While teaching I was told the Christmas Musical, The Littlest Christmas Tree, had to be renamed The Littlest Winter Tree. I refused. I tried to live my life and teach my class in a way that would clearly reflect my Savior, but how difficult it was. When everything about Christ is being stripped out of the public schools and replaced with the Religion of Self, it is hard to fight against that indoctrination. This is just a little of why we want to homeschool our children. There are so many good teachers and good things happening in the public schools, but I can remember as a junior high student in small town Arkansas, being harassed by boys as "Jay" harassed those young girls. That affected me in such a horrible way. I never wish that upon my children, and would not purposefully place them in that environment.
Thank you Kim for sharing so many insights.
Kim~
WOW...what an amazing post, and I agree with you 100%!!! We have 2 children, our daughter is a Senior graduating in a few weeks and our son is a Freshman; and we have been SO blessed that they both have a strong faith in God as they face the daily challenges of High School!
Yes, we need to be salt to the world, BUT...our first responsibilty is for our family!
Trust me when I tell you, as bad as things seem to be in the public school in elementary grades, they multiply 10 FOLD in Middle and High School.
Our daughter feels God wants her in ministry, and as she wraps up her Senior year, she has shared with her father and I that out of roughly 50 girls she knows at school, she is the ONLY virgin! The drinking, the drugs, the sex, the willingness (on the public schools half) to cater to *certain* groups of people...YET..not allowing God's word and truth to be heard or spoken simply breaks my heart!!
I comment those who feel called to homeschool. This ol' world is SO evil, and as you've stated...God has entrusted us with our children and it's OUR responsibilty to raise them according to God's word.
If I had to do it over, I'm certain I'd homeschool. But, my dh and I have been in full time ministry (now we are not) and due to circumstances we had to both get full time jobs. Our children were in Christian school through 5th grade, and then public. As bad as our public schools are here, GOD has been so FAITHFUL to keep our children safe as we've developed such a close, open relationship with them!
I LOVE reading your blog Kim! You daily inspire me!
God Bless :-)
How very sad. We chose to homeschool because we want to train our children about God and have them ready BEFORE they get thrown into the world and aren't ready to handle it.
Another great post, Kim. Here in Washington State there is also mainstreaming. One teacher suggested that it is because of cuts in the Mental Health area of our Social System. So now kids that should be in special ed or life skills classes are now in the classroom.
It sickens me to hear of selfish parents who neglect their children like that and society suffers. That poor kid was suffering so and a public school is not the place to help those deep wounds. You are right in saying that Jesus is the only One that can heal, and we should in no way expect our public school teachers to try to fill that gap.
This issue is so dear to my heart. Thank you again, Kim.
Jill
There are many Jays in this world.When I see children like Jay I know their behavior is because of something they are going through.Alot of the things these kids go through they shouldn't have to.Yes these families need Jesus in their life.
God bless you and Happy Mothers Day
Kim,
I have never left you a comment before, but I love your site! It is full of so much wonderful information and insight on Christian parenting, and I look forward to your posts. I have two daughters who are 3 and 1, and my husband and I have talked about homeschooling when the time comes. The thing that scares me the most is feeling like I will not have enough knowledge to teach them, and that their education will suffer because of my skills. Do you ever feel this way, or has being a previous teacher helped you? Do you feel it was better to have sent your daughters to public school for a few years, or is it better to start from the beginning, with homeschooling being all your children know? There are so many things to think about, but I want to make the very best choice! Thanks for all the great information you provide...
Kendra (Miamisburg, Ohio)
Kendra,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words!
I think, with as wonderful as all of the curriculum choices are, you will do fine...in fact, I think you will do great! What qualifies a parent to homeschool, in my opinion,is a love for their children with a desire to teach them about the Lord...with a strong emphasis in academics as well...but teaching them about God first! It goes much deeper than academics for us....although we love to see our children learn and grow, we know that our reasons for homeschooling is rooted in Biblical training and following God's ways.
Your children are at great ages to begin looking at curriculum and resources...just to see what is our there! I have some recommended resources on my sidebar, but there are other great choices as well!
Even though I was a teacher, I am not able to *teach* upper level math and science,so we use dvds for Math or Apologia science, which is written conversationally and very good for homeschool students. I can help them, but the actual teaching, I have sought help with.
It can be done and done well...with much prayer and diligence.
Another thing you could do in the next year or 2 is attend a homeschool convention in your area...the seminars go over the *how to's* of homeschooling and they have some wonderful motivational speakers. I would recommend you and your husband both attending. It is so fun to go to the book fair and see everything...most homeschool vendors are there and you can actually look through curriculum with knowledgeable people there to assist you and answer questions. I love going to ours!
Hope this helps you, Kendra!
Kim
Hi Kim.
I wanted to thank you for writing your homeschooling posts and I will be back to read the rest of them.
I am a sahm who used to be a exceptional ed teacher before my oldest daugther was born. I only taught for 1 full year and then a couple of months in my second year before my daughter was born.
I am also a pastor's wife.
I used to say I would NEVER homeschool my children -- that I just couldn't handle it. My oldest daughter attended a public pre k program this year and will probably attend Kindergarten next year at the same school. My second daugther will attend the prek program.
I have been thinking a LOT on homeschooling in the past year and see the pros and cons of it. I am still thinking on it and reading on it and I just wanted to say thank you for your thought out posts on this topic.
Also - from the 1st post I am shouting a big AMEN to what you said about PARENTS teaching our children about God and not expecting the church to do it.....Churches have a hard time teaching things that aren't followed up on at home.....
I am still debating about this and my husband feels that our children should go to the public school in the community our church is a part of -- for a lot of reasons that I cannot express here for lack of time. But alot of it is that the sin of the world is everywhere. Church included unfortunately.
Anyway - I really just say thanks for your thoughtfulness. I will be sharing them with my husband as we discuss this.
IN HIM -
Mindy
Thanks for sharing all of this, Kim. I have a degree in el.ed. and have had similar experiences in the classroom. I have similar thoughts to yours on homeschooling. I appreciate these posts.
I'm new to your blog. I came here through another one, Biblical Womanhood maybe?
Thanks for your thoughts. I was homeschooled. I'm a senior in college now and I'm still processing my experience and deciding what I think about homeschooling. I experienced a lot of loneliness and isolation in high school, so my experience wasn't entirely positive, but I really appreciate what you said here. People think what they're exposing their children to is no big deal, but it is. I'm so glad I had the chance to learn about those things in a safe environment as I matured, rather than being confronted with them at a much-too-young age.
Just a few thoughts. :)
great posts kim! i agree completely- thank you!
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