These were questions asked of us in youth group Wednesday night and we discussed the answers to these in a very personal way in our small groups. I was struck by the sermon because it was not on the normal *have godly friends* topic...although that is a Biblical command and very important. The teaching was more aimed at what kind of friend are we? I related it all to what kind of friend, wife, and mother am I.

Hard questions.

Especially since we all know we are constantly having to respond to things all day long. A mother's job is very demanding and we have all kinds of situations arise. Do we respond always with pointing others to the gospel and God's grace and mercy? Our children, whatever there age, are so impressionable...they really are. The older kids watch to see if you are really who you say you are...they are looking to see if the gospel is really real to you. They see if we are practicing what we preach and if we are genuine loving and serving Christ in our home. Are we teaching them that outward behavior is what counts....which would allow for us to be raising little pharisees? I have been reminded of the harm of this many times as we are going through the book, Age of Opportunity. We must love our children and deal with their hearts everyday, not just external behavior. We must be leading them to real godliness and encouraging their hearts to be obedient to the Lord because they love and delight in Him(which has to come after God has opened their eyes to His gospel)...not for outer appearances...Fear of man dictates so much of what we do and say...when really it should be the fear of a Holy God. Why don't we live like this?

Younger children are learning and soaking up everything from us...our sweet spirit with them will speak louder than any moments of anger or impatience...their little hearts are so tender and they need gentle shepherding...with Biblical discipline, love and correction..yes, but with God's grace and mercy.

Remember, we are not perfect (oh,yeah) and we need to admit to our children that we are not...we should not hold them to a higher standard than we do for ourselves. That is hypocrisy and they will know it. We must, by the grace of God, teach and show them with humble hearts that we are all in need of a Savior...we are no less in need of a Savior than they are. We need to humble ourselves before them and tell them this often.

And about leading others to godliness, I have to think of my husband. I think about all the times I have complained, grumbled, not encouraged, or demanded my own way. Has this lead to any form of godliness for either one of us? Thankfully my husband does forgive me over and over again. We have had to forgive eachother over the years...many times. We have a very strong marriage, but that has come from years of getting to know one another...learning how to serve one another...letting go of self more and more...and just learning to really love eachother. What does that love require? It requires me to submit to my husband's leadership...to respect his ideas, his views, and his ways of doing things. I must show him daily how much I appreciate his hard work and they way he provides for our family...I must pray for Him that God would keep him pure and focused on the Lord and His plan for us. I need to be showing my husband how much I love him through physical means. I am not the wife I should be...thankfully God is teaching and showing me daily how to be the wife God wants.

I had to ask his forgiveness for something I do often...and have over the years many times...it has been an area of conflict at times and I have not always submitted in this area. It is not something clearly sinful from scripture, but it is something that shows a heart that is not always content and that brings about this action. He(Mike) has very gently reminded me of what I should do and after some heart searching this week, I asked God to forgive me and then went to who else I sinned against--my dear husband. Not only did I ask for forgiveness, though, I also repented...which means I must put off the wrong actions and put on the right actions.

So, those 2 questions really convicted my heart. It is good to always be evaluating our hearts. In regards to my relationships, I must be seeking to draw those who I am around towards Christ.

How many times have we stood there while gossip was going on? Does that lead others to godliness or ungodliness? Why don't we say something or change the subject? Fear of man?

How often do we whine and complain about something going on in our lives to a friend? Are we helping them be more godly? I realize sometimes we need to talk with someone about a struggle or something...and it is very biblical to seek wise counsel...I'm talking more of the whiny attitude to just vent...not for real biblical help, just to vent your anger or grumble about circumstances. We are guilty of this and I think it can be a negative reflection on Christ to others.

Do we ever get impatient with others in a grocery store? Does this help others in godliness? I see the most angry faces in the grocery store, that makes me sad...They need to see the love of Christ through us.

How many times have we made someone else look bad to make ourselves look better? Very ugly indeed...this does not help grow others in godliness...it may appear to help you out...but God sees the heart.

Have you been jealous of others who seem to get more attention than you...do you then develop a grudge or even slightly negative attitudes toward those you are jealous of? What harm that does to the body of Christ! We must be loving others and encouraging them all to good deeds. Our pride gets in the way of that, doesn't it?

May we all seek out ways to lead others to Godliness...in our friendships, families, church families...let's put aside our own selfishness and do what will make the other person shine and grow in the Lord....what a difference it could make.

What are you going to do this week to lead others to godliness?

Now, I am off to the Martha Peace conference! I will be learning more about being the kind of woman God desires for me to be. Her book, The Excellent Wife, has been so helpful to me....that is an understatement...I love that book and think Martha is a wonderful teacher for women and biblical counselor...I can't wait to meet her! I recently read her newer book, Damsels in Distress. It covers some of the sins women especially struggle with. I think she will be teaching on the things in this book mostly, plus her own personal testimony. My big girls are going with me, which will be so nice! My sweet husband has reserved us a hotel room for the weekend. It will be such a time of refreshment and encouragement for my soul!