Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Control of the Wife's Tongue
Have you read *The Excellent Wife* by Martha Peace? If you haven't,RUN to your local christian bookstore and buy it,then order as many copies as you can afford to give to friends and family. Pass it out on the street corners....If you have read it,read it again...and again....and then again! When I went through this book years ago,I decided then that I would need to read it many times through out my lifetime. I knew I would need it close by to refer to things. This book helped me realize sin in my life that I never knew was sin. It was painful,but so good. Do I have it all mastered....yeah,right.....it is only by God's grace that I even have a desire to be an excellent wife to begin with.
After reading Katherine's post yesterday,I was reminded about how important our marriages are and it does take work to keep them vibrant and godly. So ,much depends on it....Do we really want to obey what God's Word says on the kind of wife we should be? It takes effort and lots of prayer. It takes obedience.
Martha's book is NOT a how to book, or a get happy quick kind of book. It is a soul searching biblical account of what God expects from us....plain and simple....then we are left with the choice....do we want to obey or continue in sin?
I have been convicted lately about my speech towards my husband...is it sweet? Not always....sometimes my flesh rears its ugly head and what is in the heart comes out. And it is not pretty. I have had to get out my Bible and Martha's book to help me. I thought I would share a bit from it with you.
As wives we must communicate rightly to our husbands if we are going to love,respect,and submit to him as God desires. In order to accomplish this purpose,Martha addresses nine biblical principles regarding a wife's communication to her husband.
1. A wife's wrong words begin with wrong thoughts and motives.
"For out of the heart come evil thoughts,murders,adulteries,fornications,thefts,falses witness,slanders. These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man. Matt 15:19-20
The heart includes a person's thoughts,choices,or motives. We have control over it. Wrong words do begin with wrong thoughts.
2. A wife is accountable to God for every word she speaks.
"And I say to you,that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the days of judgment. Matt 12: 36-37
Big Ouch!
3. A wife is to speak the truth to her husband,but speak it in love.
"....but speaking the truth in love,we are to grow up in all aspects into Him,who is the head,even Christ. Eph 4:15 " If your brother sins,go and reprove him in private;if he listens to you,you have won your brother." Matt 8:15
4. A wife must put off any wrong speech.
"But now you also,put them all aside:anger,wrath,malice,slander,and abusive speech from your mouth." Col 3:8
5. A wife must give her husband the benefit of the doubt when it comes to judging his motives.
"Therefore,do not go on passing judgement before the time,but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts;and then each man's praise will come to him from God. " 1 Cor 4:5
6. A wife is more likely to sin if her words are rash.
"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword,but the tongue of the wise brings healing. " Prov. 12:18
7. A wife is more likely to be heard if her speech is forbearing and sweet.
"The wise in heart will be called discerning,and sweetness of speech increases persuaviness." Prov. 16:21
8. An excellent wife is wise and kind when she talks to her husband.
"She opens her mouth in wisdom,and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" Prov 31:26
9. A wife should purify her speech until it is more and more flawless.
"The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little." Prov 10:20
Conclusion:
How we communicate is a reflection of our commitment to Christ. Certainly,these are skills that need to be fine tuned. Ask your husband to hold you accountable for how you speak and your tone of voice. When your husband points your failures
out to you,immediately reconsider how you should have communicated. Tell him what you should have done and ask his forgiveness.
From Martha Peace's book *The Excellent Wife*
This is just a short chapter in the book...it goes much deeper than what I have posted and the other chapters cover so many much needed topics. May it bless you today!
After reading Katherine's post yesterday,I was reminded about how important our marriages are and it does take work to keep them vibrant and godly. So ,much depends on it....Do we really want to obey what God's Word says on the kind of wife we should be? It takes effort and lots of prayer. It takes obedience.
Martha's book is NOT a how to book, or a get happy quick kind of book. It is a soul searching biblical account of what God expects from us....plain and simple....then we are left with the choice....do we want to obey or continue in sin?
I have been convicted lately about my speech towards my husband...is it sweet? Not always....sometimes my flesh rears its ugly head and what is in the heart comes out. And it is not pretty. I have had to get out my Bible and Martha's book to help me. I thought I would share a bit from it with you.
As wives we must communicate rightly to our husbands if we are going to love,respect,and submit to him as God desires. In order to accomplish this purpose,Martha addresses nine biblical principles regarding a wife's communication to her husband.
1. A wife's wrong words begin with wrong thoughts and motives.
"For out of the heart come evil thoughts,murders,adulteries,fornications,thefts,falses witness,slanders. These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man. Matt 15:19-20
The heart includes a person's thoughts,choices,or motives. We have control over it. Wrong words do begin with wrong thoughts.
2. A wife is accountable to God for every word she speaks.
"And I say to you,that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the days of judgment. Matt 12: 36-37
Big Ouch!
3. A wife is to speak the truth to her husband,but speak it in love.
"....but speaking the truth in love,we are to grow up in all aspects into Him,who is the head,even Christ. Eph 4:15 " If your brother sins,go and reprove him in private;if he listens to you,you have won your brother." Matt 8:15
4. A wife must put off any wrong speech.
"But now you also,put them all aside:anger,wrath,malice,slander,and abusive speech from your mouth." Col 3:8
5. A wife must give her husband the benefit of the doubt when it comes to judging his motives.
"Therefore,do not go on passing judgement before the time,but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men's hearts;and then each man's praise will come to him from God. " 1 Cor 4:5
6. A wife is more likely to sin if her words are rash.
"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword,but the tongue of the wise brings healing. " Prov. 12:18
7. A wife is more likely to be heard if her speech is forbearing and sweet.
"The wise in heart will be called discerning,and sweetness of speech increases persuaviness." Prov. 16:21
8. An excellent wife is wise and kind when she talks to her husband.
"She opens her mouth in wisdom,and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue" Prov 31:26
9. A wife should purify her speech until it is more and more flawless.
"The tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little." Prov 10:20
Conclusion:
How we communicate is a reflection of our commitment to Christ. Certainly,these are skills that need to be fine tuned. Ask your husband to hold you accountable for how you speak and your tone of voice. When your husband points your failures
out to you,immediately reconsider how you should have communicated. Tell him what you should have done and ask his forgiveness.
From Martha Peace's book *The Excellent Wife*
This is just a short chapter in the book...it goes much deeper than what I have posted and the other chapters cover so many much needed topics. May it bless you today!
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
9 Comments:
Oh, ouch. and ouch. and ouch. Sigh. I think I better go buy this book.
Oh Kim, how God is pressing from all sides, and I know I need to finally submit and read this book. It has been recommended before, but I have never taken the challenge. It. is. time.
A sincere thanks for being an excellent exhorter. Must be a spiritual gift of yours. I am certainly appreciative. Check on me soon to make sure I've gone ahead and ordered it : )
I had the exact same feeling about that book the first time I read it. If I ever think I'm doing a good job as a wife, I can just pull it out and shatter my illusions. :^)
Okay, I'm just dyin' here, too. Amazing how it all starts with thoughts and motives. I've been so convicted lately about taking those thoughts captive - or rather, how I don't - and then they come out when I least expect them to. My kids and husband take the brunt of it. I've run up quite an Amazon tab lately. Might as well just add this book to the list! Thanks for posting this.
I love this book!! So much of what is in this book was new information to me since I didn't grow up in a Christian home or see many good models of how a marriage should operate. I am glad you suggested this, I need to pull it off the shelf and reread it.
I am on my 2nd reading of Feminine Appeal-Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother by Carolyn Mahaney. It is also one that I may read over and over.
I came to you from Katherine's blog.
Great post Kim and very challenging, a much needed reminder thanks for sharing this.
I am getting ready to start this book. I am even more excited now!
Kim, I've had this book in my bedside nightstand for a long time, I've started it and it's one of those that I never finished! Shame! You've made me want to dust it off and begin again. Thank you!
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