Monday, February 12, 2007
True Beauty--Mommy, am I pretty?
In this world we live in there is so much emphasis put on physical beauty. I can remember growing up,especially during my teen and early adult years,desiring for that perfect face,perfect body and I worked hard for it. Exercising to an extreme to stay super thin,toned,and attractive. Even eating barely nothing to be thin(which I already was to begin with) Spending time getting a tan...spending money and time on finding the perfect newest makeup and skincare. I wanted to be pretty. I was sinfully pursuing the world's idea of beauty and not what God wanted for me. Even though I was a baby christian at the time,I was not receiving Biblical instruction on how to have true beauty. I was not seeking it out myself either...this is not an excuse for my sin,it is just the reality of the fact that I bought the lie that if you are pretty everything else will be fine. Or that I may not be naturally the most beautiful person,so I need to put all this time and energy into making myself look better...all of it was a lie. I still struggle with this at times....makeup and skincare are fun for me. I enjoy the girly aspects about being a woman. I like nice clothes and all that...but,I have realized over the years how sinful it is to put so much time and attention on myself...not to mention the attitudes behind those sinful desires. God has helped me see how imbalanced my life was and how my inner beauty was nothing at all what scripture taught. I was guilty. I have since repented of this sin...not just once,but over and over again because I fall back into this way of thinking at times. I'm sure I will continue to have to repent. We are a self-absorbed people. The more I study God's Word,the more I see sinful behaviors and attitudes in my self that are not at all what God wants from me. I am a work in progress.
Today I am a mother of 3 (soon to be 4) daughters and one son. I desire for my girls to be godly young girls,with inner beauty that shines. Girls who serve others with willing hearts. Girls who are more concerned with working diligently than getting a tan. Girls who seek the welfare of others,instead of building a platform for themselves. Girls who love God and want to glorify Him with their lives. I want to be a good example for them now,although I have failed in this area of my life.
In Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre's book,*Girl Talk*,true beauty is discussed. It states:
A gentle and quiet spirit is not referring to a personality type. Women who have a effervescent way about them can have a gentle and quiet spirit by having a steadfast peace and trust in God that humbly responds to God and obeys Him. When we trust God we are making ourselves beautiful.
So,which beauty are we going for? The world's view of beauty,which will pass away,or Biblical beauty that endures and gets more beautiful as time goes on? Here are 10 questions from *Girl Talk* that can help us all see our heart and its motives. My husband and I are always wanting to deal with our children's hearts first,then the external things seem to fall into place. I think it is the same with us...when we see our heart,then we can change what needs to be changed. This list of questions is great for your own self evaluation or for your daughters.
When thinking about my daughters and the prayers I have for them,I can not avoid the mistakes I have made. I have to simply ask God for His grace as we seek to live pleasing in His sight now in the area of true beauty.
If you are interested in the modesty issue,The Rebelution Blog will be posting their results to a modesty survey on February 14. They hosted an open survey to young men on what they see as a stumbling block in regards to how a girl dresses or presents herself. It should be quite interesting to see the results.
Today I am a mother of 3 (soon to be 4) daughters and one son. I desire for my girls to be godly young girls,with inner beauty that shines. Girls who serve others with willing hearts. Girls who are more concerned with working diligently than getting a tan. Girls who seek the welfare of others,instead of building a platform for themselves. Girls who love God and want to glorify Him with their lives. I want to be a good example for them now,although I have failed in this area of my life.
In Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre's book,*Girl Talk*,true beauty is discussed. It states:
Our culture puts forth a false standard of beauty and a false message about beauty. But,ultimately it's the sin of our hearts that motivates us to believe them. Their lies appeal to all the things our hearts desire. We desperately want success,recognition,significance,importance,and approval.
God is not opposed to us making ourselves beautiful; rather He unveils in the passage how women are to make themselves beautiful. 1st Peter 3:4-5 tells us to "let our adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the impershable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves."
A gentle and quiet spirit is not referring to a personality type. Women who have a effervescent way about them can have a gentle and quiet spirit by having a steadfast peace and trust in God that humbly responds to God and obeys Him. When we trust God we are making ourselves beautiful.
So,which beauty are we going for? The world's view of beauty,which will pass away,or Biblical beauty that endures and gets more beautiful as time goes on? Here are 10 questions from *Girl Talk* that can help us all see our heart and its motives. My husband and I are always wanting to deal with our children's hearts first,then the external things seem to fall into place. I think it is the same with us...when we see our heart,then we can change what needs to be changed. This list of questions is great for your own self evaluation or for your daughters.
1) Do I spend more time each day caring for my personal appearance than I do in Bible study,prayer,and worship?
2) Do I spend excessive money on clothes,hair,and makeup,or is it an amount that is God honoring?
3) Do I want to lose weight to *feel better about myself* or do I desire to be self disciplined for the glory of God?
4) Am I on a quest for thinness to impress others,or do I seek to cultivate eating habits that honor God?
5) Do I exercise to try to create or maintain a good figure,or do I exercise to strengthen my body for God's service?
6) Is there anything about my appearance that that I wish I could change,or am I grateful to God for the way He created me?
7) Am I jealous of the appearance of other girls,or am I truly glad when I observe other girls who are more physically attractive than me?
8) Do I covet the wardrobe of others,or do I genuinely rejoice when other girls (or women) are able to afford and purchase new clothing?
9) When I attend an activity,do I sinfully compare myself with others,or do I ask God to show me whom to love and how to do it?
10) Do I ever dress immodestly or with the intent of drawing attention to myself,or do I always dress in a manner that pleases God?
When thinking about my daughters and the prayers I have for them,I can not avoid the mistakes I have made. I have to simply ask God for His grace as we seek to live pleasing in His sight now in the area of true beauty.
If you are interested in the modesty issue,The Rebelution Blog will be posting their results to a modesty survey on February 14. They hosted an open survey to young men on what they see as a stumbling block in regards to how a girl dresses or presents herself. It should be quite interesting to see the results.
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
14 Comments:
Kim, I loved your post!! I completely agree!! I wanted to give you this link to one of my friends in AL that adopted a girl from CHina. Here is her blog address.
http://youngpartyoffive.blogspot.com/
Um...have I mentioned I LOVE your blog?! Of course, I have! Thank you for this post. I have the Girl Talk book, but haven't read it yet. I will make a point to get into it soon. I agree with everything you said and want to instill the same virtuous attitude in my little princess. Maybe her life won't be so full of the struggle to "feel" beautiful. Just maybe she will know her beauty comes from the Lord. ; )
Kim, excellent post. And that checklist is great. I'm going to prayerfully go through it myself and then with my girls.
Great post, Kim. I, too, want my girls to know that inner beauty is so much more important than outer. I want them to have lives that honor God in all areas.
This is such a huge issue and one that I address weekly not only with my 5 year old, but with my SS class as well. I'm going to check out that book. Sounds like it would be good for my class.
Kim,
I just giggled when I read your title. Would you believe that I have been finishing up my bible study throughout the day and would you like to guess the title: "True Beauty". I could direct the ladies to your blog or better yet are you free tomorrow morning to come and share? (smile)
This is the last week of a six week study covering the many issues we face as women. Our creation, our role, submission, motherhood, our homes, and finally true beauty. I am sharing the list by Carolyn Mahaney and other thoughts she has written in another article on Biblical Womanhood.
Obviously the ladies in the study are of various ages, but this is something we never stop dealing with no matter how old we get. But it is certainly what we need to train our own daughters in.
I love the practical way the book "Girl Talk" is written.
Like you, I also bought into many of the lies and accepted the world's standards even thinking I was being spiritual, only to have learned years later that there was nothing spiritual about much of my thinking. I am so thankful to God for His grace in my life and revealing the truth to my heart before my own daughters are completly grown.
OK, this comment is too long and I should have just wrote a post.
Blessings,
Chris
A very moving and honest post, Kim. I've always believed the very best gift we can give our daughters is the assurance that beauty really does come from within.
I raised my daughters to be proud of who they were, not what they looked like, and today, although they both truly are beautiful on the outside, I'm very proud that they are even more beautiful from the soul, out.
Beautifully said.
I really love this post....it is so true, and I have to admit that some of my answers to the ten questions were not the right ones. I haven't read that book yet, but I think it will need to be on my list. Especially with 3 (or soon to be, I hope) girls to raise. I remember feeling the same way you did growing up. I want my girls to realize that they should be so much more than "pretty".
Janet
What an excellent post!! It is so easy in this day and age to fall into the trap of yearning for external beauty. I truly believe that it is a trap of Satan ... if we can spend time focusing on ourselves and never being satisfied with how we look, then we are not focusing on God and the things He looks at. I found that it helps to put Proverbs 31:30 on my mirror. :)
Kim, thank you for your honest reflections on this topic. This is such a huge area where Satan seeks to defeat us in so many manys. I was challenged personally and challenged in the important task in training and preparing my daughter in this area!
That does sound interesting. I managed to avoid most of those pitfalls as a young person, and I am praying that my daughter will too. It's hard to be a woman and even harder to be a young girl today, I think.
Fabulous post, Kim. I'll be sending for that book pronto to go through with my girls. I pray that I've been a good model, but I know I've been sinful in this area as well.
Thank you for being transparent with your own shortcomings and current victory.
Oh did I ever get sucked in as well and to this day I have hair "issues" that I can't let go of. I do not wish that for my daughter. I want my daughter to really understand that how we are on the inside is what makes us beautiful on the outside.
Thanks for a great post Kim!
Laura
I love this post, Kim. My husband and I have talked about this issue so many times having 2 little girls. I too spent way too much time and money trying to be "perfect" years ago. Now, I've had 6 or 7 spots removed surgically because of all the tanning....hard lesson learned. I hope that I can help my daughters learn better than I did.
How easily we buy the world's definition of beauty--and how critical for us women to model biblical beauty for the next generation. A
s a mother of sons, I appreciate your commitment to raising modest daughters. My husband and I continue to be shocked--SHOCKED!--at what young girls wear to CHURCH. My husband says all the time, "Doesn't her father remember what goes through young boys' minds?"
Thanks too for the modesty survey link--I intend to peruse more carefully and with great interest, I'm sure!
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