Sunday, December 02, 2007
Learning from Martha Peace
What a wonderful weekend we had! I was so happy to meet Martha Peace and visit with her for a few minutes. I was able to express to her how "helpful" her book *The Excellent Wife* has been to me....as well as the other 2 books I have read by her....*Attitudes of a Transformed Heart* and *Damsels In Distress*. I tend to put people on a pedestal, which I know is wrong...but, I just have the utmost respect for her and her Biblical views. She was so humble and sweet. She is not all the big event type person trying to draw a crowd...the important thing to her seems to be helping women to live in God honoring ways and deal with their sinfulness correctly. She does NOT teach men, which makes me respect her so much...she understands the role of women in the church and plays it out in her life and in her ministry. I highly recommend all of her books.
On Friday night, we were blessed so greatly by hearing her personal testimony. She became a believer as an adult. The events of her life showed how wonderful God's grace was to her...and how precious His forgiveness is. I was brought to tears many moments throughout her testimony because she showed how only God could have opened her eyes to His gospel. It was Him drawing her to Himself through many situations and people he placed in her life. What a wonderful loving God we serve!
Martha is a teacher, but also a Biblical counselor with NANC (see my sidebar links). A Biblical counselor is simply someone who helps others to solve their problems with scripture. She helps women see the proper view of God through scripture and the proper view of themselves. She counsels many women with all kinds of problems...little and big. Everyone of us probably need Biblical counseling at one time or another throughout our lifetimes. It is just simply help to live godly...we all need that from time to time.
Her first topic of the evening was hurt feelings. There was so much information on each of these topics that it is very difficult to condense it. I will just touch on the parts that helped me the most.
Have you ever thought that unintentional hurts(the person doing the action did not know it was hurtful) by someone else is actually sinful on the part of the person perceiving that hurt? Often this person is overly shy, proud, and self absorbed.
But, intentional hurts should be dealt with by overcoming evil with good....also through Matthew 18 church discipline if needed.
The next session was on a gentle and quiet spirit. Here is the definition for a gentle and quiet spirit...because to have it we need to know, first of all, what it is! Really think on this definition. I thought it was profound! (and helpful)
The next session was on manipulation. Her book, Damsels in Distress covers a lot of this,too. She really covered this from 2 angles...we can be guilty of sinful manipulation and we can be the one manipulated by someone else.
Her last session was on depression and anxiety. I will write some on that tomorrow. This post is becoming very lengthy. There was just so much covered and it was all so helpful! I laughed with Martha because I kept using that word to describe her books...I could not think of any better word...it was all just so helpful! My girls and I laughed about that and joked about my overuse of that word!
On Friday night, we were blessed so greatly by hearing her personal testimony. She became a believer as an adult. The events of her life showed how wonderful God's grace was to her...and how precious His forgiveness is. I was brought to tears many moments throughout her testimony because she showed how only God could have opened her eyes to His gospel. It was Him drawing her to Himself through many situations and people he placed in her life. What a wonderful loving God we serve!
Martha is a teacher, but also a Biblical counselor with NANC (see my sidebar links). A Biblical counselor is simply someone who helps others to solve their problems with scripture. She helps women see the proper view of God through scripture and the proper view of themselves. She counsels many women with all kinds of problems...little and big. Everyone of us probably need Biblical counseling at one time or another throughout our lifetimes. It is just simply help to live godly...we all need that from time to time.
Her first topic of the evening was hurt feelings. There was so much information on each of these topics that it is very difficult to condense it. I will just touch on the parts that helped me the most.
Hurt Feelings...the Biblical solution:
--Learn to give others the benefit of the doubt. Phil 4:8, 1 Corinthians 13:7
--Learn to not judge the other person's motives. 1 Cor 4:5
--Must be willing to feel uncomfortable in order to help others feel comfortable. Phil 2:3
Here are 2 examples of an original *hurt* and a Biblical response and correct way to think:
Hurt: The lady introducing me mispronounced my name. Everyone snickered. That hurt my feelings.
Biblical response: Anyone can make a mistake and it was funny. I need to not be so sinfully proud. Instead, I should be more concerned about making her comfortable than I am about myself.
Hurt: My Father drank and neglected our family. He rejected me and my feelings are hurt.
Biblical response: My father was a drunkard and did neglect his family. He was sinning, but it would not have mattered who his family was as he was not doing that deliberately to hurt me. I must forgive him and seek opportunities to give him the gospel and offer him hope in Christ.
Have you ever thought that unintentional hurts(the person doing the action did not know it was hurtful) by someone else is actually sinful on the part of the person perceiving that hurt? Often this person is overly shy, proud, and self absorbed.
But, intentional hurts should be dealt with by overcoming evil with good....also through Matthew 18 church discipline if needed.
The next session was on a gentle and quiet spirit. Here is the definition for a gentle and quiet spirit...because to have it we need to know, first of all, what it is! Really think on this definition. I thought it was profound! (and helpful)
Gentle or meek describes a condition of mind and heart. It is seen in outward behavior and is an inwrought grace of the soul. It is that temper of spirit in which we accept God's dealings with us as good and therefore without disputing, resisting, struggling or contending with Him. This meekness is also seen when facing evil men and realizing that even evil acts against us are permitted and employed by God for chastening and purifying of His elect. Quiet spirit--tranquility arising within, causing no disturbance to others. This woman is not given to anger or fear.
The next session was on manipulation. Her book, Damsels in Distress covers a lot of this,too. She really covered this from 2 angles...we can be guilty of sinful manipulation and we can be the one manipulated by someone else.
Sinful manipulation is using unbiblical words and countenance to bully the other person into letting you have your way. All in while knowing that if you can not have your way, you can at least punish the other person in the process. Manipulation usually escalates: sweet talk, beg, cry, anger, cold shoulder, accusations, and finally threats.
The manipulator is a fool. How to respond to a fool:
--Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him. Proverbs 26:4
--A fool answers back in anger or defends themselves at length. They often counterattack with their own accusations or threats ot begging. This is returning evil for evil and there are 2 fools talking to eachother.
--Answer a fool as his folly deserves, that he be not wise in his own eyes. Prov 26:5
--A wise person will give the fool an answer that will convict him of his responsibility before God. In the process, the wise person may have to suffer more verbal abuse from the fool, but they will be suffering for righteousness.
Her last session was on depression and anxiety. I will write some on that tomorrow. This post is becoming very lengthy. There was just so much covered and it was all so helpful! I laughed with Martha because I kept using that word to describe her books...I could not think of any better word...it was all just so helpful! My girls and I laughed about that and joked about my overuse of that word!
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
12 Comments:
Kim,
I've been eagerly checking back to see what you learned at your conference. It sounds like Martha relayed some great truths. I wish I had been there.
I had never thought of hurt feelings as being sinful on the part of the one who perceives themselves as being hurt. That does make sense, though. I struggle with always feeling hurt with a person who attends our church. Many times I have been so sure that she was intentionally trying to hurt me with her words or actions. I need to give her the benefit of the doubt and respond with forgiveness. After all, I am sure that I have been unintentionally hurtful to others. Would I not want them to give me that benefit too? I never thought of my self-absorbed ways as being sinful. Thanks for causing me to rethink my thought process in all of this...
I am especially looking forward to reading what Martha had to say about depression and anxiety. I'll check back.
I'm glad that you had fun and that Martha's words were so "helpful" to you.
Thanks for sharing your notes with us!! So good, and so much to think about.
Thank you so much for sharing all this for us....it was....dare I say it so "helpful". I have now put The Excellent wife on my wishlist! Looking forward to the follow up tomorrow.
Thanks for sharing and I really look forward to tomorrow's notes too.
Have a great day.
In Him -
Mindy
I just started "The Excellent Wife" and have not made it one paragraph without feeling convicted. I'm loving it! I love your thoughts today. I really want to be the gentle/meek person!
Thanks for this overview of the weekend! I agree with your assessment of Martha--I've had many opportunities (conferences, etc.) to hear her speak and see her in action--she's the 'real' deal.
Your mention of Martha not teaching men reminded me of this year's NANC conference in Texas where she had it announced (matter-of-factly and appropriately timed) to the attendees that she asks that men not attend her workshops. Refreshing, isn't it when so many women are seeking (even orchestrating) ways around that matter.
FYI - wanted to point out that Grace and Truth Books is offering 'Excellent Wife' AND study guide for only $12.50. I've provided a link on my blog for those who might be interested.
Okay, I am officially printing this post. Thank you so much for sharing!! I can't wait to read the next post about it. :)
I started "Attitudes of a Transformed Heart" a few weeks ago... WOW.
Have a super week!!
I didn't even notice the length of the post. I was just absorbing everything you were sharing. I really need to get a hold of these books come the new year!
I have never heard of this lady before, if you can believe it. I know you have mentioned her books a few times, but I really need to get them, by the sounds of it. I used to struggle with being overly sensitive too, until someone pointed out to me that it was sinful! I hadn't thought of it either. It IS a good thing to think about, pride is usually at the heart of over sensitivity. Thanks for the recommendations. I think I should stop at our local Christian bookstore...soon! It would be good reading for when I have some time off at Christmas!
Wow, Kim! What a treat for you!!! Sounds like great encouragement - striving toward holiness! With the hurt feelings one, in the Sovereign Grace realm (you know how every church has their lingo!), they use "charitable judgment" a lot. I have learned so much from that - thinking intentionally about charitable judgment - MOSTLY with my husband! When he says something I think is offensive, giving him charitable judgment, knowing that he loves me, and seeking to understand his statement rather than lashing out about something that I interpreted through my own ears! ; )
I have Damsels in Distress just waiting to be read, but have YET to get to it : ( There's so much to read, isn't there?!!! : )
I have high respect for her as well - thanks for sharing what the Lord showed you that was so "helpful":)
Thanks for sharing all of this valuable information. It's another one that I'm going to print out so that I can look back on it again. I think some of Martha's books are going to be on my Christmas list.
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