Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Is Modesty out of style?
In continuing in my thoughts on the issue of modesty,I am going through some scriptures seeing what God has to say about this topic. No where in scripture does it state what to wear specifically...no mention of how short of a skirt is too short and no mention of how much makeup is too much or inappropriate. Scripture does say this in 1 Timothy 2:8-10:
Modesty is not about wearing ugly clothes nor is it about skirt lengths. It is about having heart that wants to glorify God by how one chooses to dress. It is about dealing with the heart. Do we want to call attention to ourselves or to God?
Girls Talk states:
John MacArthur says:
Those quotes are really good. But,do you feel convicted? I know I do and I know in the past I have wanted to impress...it is so wrong!
At our house,we do have some guidelines for what our girls can wear. We have set *rules* as to how we shop and what can be purchased. First rule is daddy has to approve. Who better to decide if something can be a stumbling block for a guy than a guy? Even if mom thinks it is okay,daddy has the final say. M is very proactive when it comes to shopping...He has very strong opinions about what I should wear and what the girls should wear. Early in our marriage it got on my nerves when he would say *that skirt is too short*. Now,I really do appreciate his heart and wisdom in this area...it really is what is best for me. I really do appreciate his protection over us in that area! We do consider lengths of things and how much skin shows...we evaluate each clothing item. You may say,that takes way too long...well,when it is important,no amount of time is too much. We spend way more time on less valuable things. Even through the rules,we always evaluate the girls' hearts. You see,it is more about teaching and training them to love and honor God than to make rules. The rules just help us along the path of training.
Another fact about us...we like cute and stylish clothes! I am by no means saying that we wear loose fitting sacks that cover us from our heads to our toes. I like all the great shops out there and enjoy shopping. I,also,believe women should look like women,so it is okay to have clothes that show that you have some shape. We are constantly asking God for His wisdom in this area.
The Girl Talk book ends their chapter on modesty with these questions:
Be sure to check out The Rebelution blog tomorrow for the Modesty Survey results!
I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise,also,that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel,with modesty and self control,not with braided hair and gold,or pearls,or costly attire,but with what is proper for women who profess godliness--with good works.
Modesty is not about wearing ugly clothes nor is it about skirt lengths. It is about having heart that wants to glorify God by how one chooses to dress. It is about dealing with the heart. Do we want to call attention to ourselves or to God?
Girls Talk states:
Immodest dress is more than simply wearing a short skirt or a low cut blouse. Immodesty is an expression of pride and self importance,the opposite of humility. Revealing clothes are the costume of a woman seeking to draw attention to herself rather than bring glory to God. So,modesty,then,is humility expressed in dress. It is the attire of a godly woman.
John MacArthur says:
How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is to call attention to herself,and flaunt her....beauty? Or worse,to attempt to allure men? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.
Those quotes are really good. But,do you feel convicted? I know I do and I know in the past I have wanted to impress...it is so wrong!
At our house,we do have some guidelines for what our girls can wear. We have set *rules* as to how we shop and what can be purchased. First rule is daddy has to approve. Who better to decide if something can be a stumbling block for a guy than a guy? Even if mom thinks it is okay,daddy has the final say. M is very proactive when it comes to shopping...He has very strong opinions about what I should wear and what the girls should wear. Early in our marriage it got on my nerves when he would say *that skirt is too short*. Now,I really do appreciate his heart and wisdom in this area...it really is what is best for me. I really do appreciate his protection over us in that area! We do consider lengths of things and how much skin shows...we evaluate each clothing item. You may say,that takes way too long...well,when it is important,no amount of time is too much. We spend way more time on less valuable things. Even through the rules,we always evaluate the girls' hearts. You see,it is more about teaching and training them to love and honor God than to make rules. The rules just help us along the path of training.
Another fact about us...we like cute and stylish clothes! I am by no means saying that we wear loose fitting sacks that cover us from our heads to our toes. I like all the great shops out there and enjoy shopping. I,also,believe women should look like women,so it is okay to have clothes that show that you have some shape. We are constantly asking God for His wisdom in this area.
The Girl Talk book ends their chapter on modesty with these questions:
Which do you think about more--shopping or good works?
What are you most noticed for--what you wear or your kind deeds?
What is most eye catching about you--your clothing or your character?
Be sure to check out The Rebelution blog tomorrow for the Modesty Survey results!
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
11 Comments:
Kim,
This is such a WONDERFUL post!! This is something that has become more important to me after becoming a parent, and especially after having a little girl! Even though she is only 19 mos. old, this is something we have discussed alot in our family. It has also been on my heart lately to do something for the teenage girls in our church... a class, a seminar??? I'm not sure what yet, but am praying about it. I want my son to be attracted to godly, modest young women, too! I love dressing cute and stylish too... it is a constant (time consuming) battle to find appropriate things sometimes. Sorry for the NOVEL of a comment, but thanks so much for writing this. You are an encouragement.
Kim,
Another excellent post! My fifteen year old and I had to return something tonight at one of our favorite clothing stores and we found some cute tops on sale and I just stood there in awe as she said to me "...and there modest too". We worked hard when she was younger and so much of the clothing was mini skirts and tops that either were too short at the waist or too low cut, to teach her to choose modest clothing. I have a really neat and fun rule sheet that I will have to find the link to that made it fun for her when shopping for clothes.
She now has made it something she chooses to do. I rarely have to say "no" to something when we shop. She wants to look nice, but not draw attention to herself.
Now I am praying that the style in wedding dresses changes soon.
I like that: "Modesty is about dealing with the heart".
Great post Kim!
Great post, Kim. We were in student ministry for over 10 years and it was absolutely astounding how many girls dressed inappropriately. What was worse were parents who allowed it. I taught so many times on this area and many teens today have not made the connection between honoring God and how they dress. I too love dressing stylish! You are right on that it is a heart issue!
This is a great post. I was especially struck by the fact that immodesty is not just being uncovered, it's also drawing undo attention to self. Thank you for that reminder.
Some wonderful thoughts...I so agree! I have two daughters, ages 4 and 7....and it seems crazy that I should have to bipass certain kinds of clothes they have in the stores for their ages, but I do! It seems they want little girls to try to dress provaticative!
I think it's fine to try to dress "in style" and look pretty- but only the part of the current style that is modest.
Wonderful post...I love the guidelines your family uses!
Thanks for introducing me to The Rebelution. Amazing that there really ARE godly young men out there who are taking such a vocal stand!
Great post. I am very tiny and it is so hard to find modest clothes in my size and for my age. I am old. LOL I just left a church that had no dress standards.I found it very disturbing to see the teens each Sunday come to church with very few clothes on. This is one reason I feel we have had 3 deacons daughter come up pregant out of wedlock this past year. I am so happy to see parents that take a stand.
Hugs,
Elizabeth
Hello. I found you from One Day More. What an excellent post. I hope you won't mind if I send some friends over to read it. Thanks!
Lauren S. sent me to this and I'm glad I read it! It's so refreshing to know that there are moms truly concerned about their daughters portraying godliness in their dress. Thanks!
This is such an important topic! I'm glad you shared your rules. I am also glad my dad cared enough to say, "No," about questionable outfits when I was growing up, too. We finally had our little girl 9 months ago (she has two older brothers!), and I've been nervous as I've looked at the clothes selections for young girls, worried that it may be difficult to find decent things for her once she's a bit older. I may have to learn to sew??? I have heard that retailers are beginning to listen to the calls for modesty. I surely hope this is true. Thanks for this post.
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