Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Modesty with Formal Wear and Wedding Gowns
The wedding season is here and many brides have already chosen their beautiful gowns to wear on that most important day. Some are looking and shopping for that perfect dress. Does modesty come into mind when looking for a wedding gown or a formal dress for a special occasion? It should. As mothers, we have a lot of influence on our daughters and what they will choose as their wedding attire. But, it must start when they are young. I think it would be very hard to allow a young girl to wear whatever they want as a child and then all of a sudden when they become a young teen decide to impose modesty principles and rules. We will meet a lot of opposition, I'm afraid. I believe we must be talking about it with our young girls...preparing them for a lifestyle of modesty in their dress. Remember, modesty first of all has to come from a heart of modesty...wanting to reflect a life that is wanting to be pleasing to the Lord because they want to point to Christ, not themselves.This principle is also true on a wedding day. All eyes are on the bride, that is true...what she wears does say a lot about the heart. This is a holy ceremony before the Lord. She will be up close with many guests, pastors, and families. Shouldn't we raise the bar of modesty at this time as well. I know I am looking to the future with these things in mind as we prepare for eventually at least 4 girls who will purchase a wedding gown.
There is a wonderful article here about wedding gown modesty, where a pastor who officiates many ceremonies has some wonderful words of wisdom for parents and young women. He is very wise and has some great advice. ;)
Some other thoughts on the topic of modesty are here.
I am a stay at home mother to 4. I am very blessed to have a godly husband who loves the Lord and his family. I welcome the days of much needed grace,the times of sweet victories,and the tears of trials,knowing it is all for God's glory. I want my lifesong to sing to Him,the author and finisher of my faith. Soli Deo Gloria--To the Glory of God alone.
20 Comments:
TELL ME ABOUT IT! I hate it when you go into a church to a Christian wedding and you see....well...everything. Huh? Aren't we pledging to live our lives together BEFORE GOD? Why doesn't modesty count when it come to wedding gowns? When I was looking with my friend (as her matron of honour- that sounds soooo old! LOL!) I couldn't believe the number of dresses with a LARGE amount of cleavage showing and the WHOLE BACK was gone! Ah! I'm so glad my mom made my dress!
So true!
This applies to the bridesmaids as well. Honestly, some of the dresses are so tight and provocative, that it seems a little trashy.
I think weddings ought to be very tasteful affairs. I don't like to see the girls looking like they should be on the cover of Cosmopolitan.
Great post! I read the girl talk article you linked to also and it was really good, thanks for sharing. I have been to 4 weddings so far this year....3 out of the 4 were Christians, and 2 out of those 3 go to my church. Out of all of them, only 1 wore a modest wedding dress (which was so beautiful), and the rest did not. It was one of the girls from my church. I haven't really put much thought into the dresses they wear from the perspective of a man, and I should! It is so true that those poor pastors, and other men attending, are being put in an unnecessary situation where they could very possibly be tempted to lust. Your post gave me some great things to think about with regard to my little girl! Thank you!
Thanks for pointing us to that article!! I couldn't agree more with you or the author of the other article as well!!
Thank you so much for talking about this! As a 20-year-old senior in college, I'm getting to the time of life when a lot of friends are getting married, so this is something that's on my mind regularly. One problem I have is being asked to be a bridesmaid and wear an inappropriate dress... is there any way you could address that and give advice about it? :)
Great post. Thanks for sharing. I don't know if people just get so caught up in everything with the wedding that they don't consider whether the dress is modest or not. Personally I really get tired of the cleavage, even in everyday clothing. That's a whole other story!
Blessings on your day.
Very good point!
It is so hard shopping with my 15 year old daughter these days. Unfortunately you have to go out of your way to find clothes that are modest. I am sooo thankful that the longer shirts are back in style. My daughter is very tall and the short shirts stage made it hard to find shirts that covered her.
Hopefully I have a while before the wedding dress though! :)
One of my very precious friends is Mormon... when she got married a year ago, she used the website www.totallymodest.com to find her wedding dress. I was shocked and grateful to find that such websites existed. The dresses are absolutely beautiful but created with modesty in mind. I think there are some other websites like this as well, but wanted to share this one with you. She looked GORGEOUS in her tasteful dress while honoring her body and honoring her God. Pretty cool.
That is so true.We must guide our daugthers on what to wear.Some of the things they have in the stores for young girls is to much for them and adult also.When I see how some of these young girls dress.I have to say where was the parents when she left the house.
I agree with your point that we have to start when our daughters are young, or else it will be very difficult to change our expectations of them as they get older. My oldest daughter is only 8, but since she was very young I have tried to instill in her a real sense of what is appropriate attire for a young lady (unfortunately, given the styles these days, it becomes an "issue" far too early in their lives!).
You are *so* right about starting young with our girls. This has been something that DH and I have been committed to since our girls were infants...realizing that, as you said, we can't let them wear *whatever* as little girls and then suddenly expect them to switch gears later. We have talked to our girls (now 3, 5, and 7) *and* our 9 y/o son about modesty issues since they were really small...and we are already seeing fruit from that with our older ones. Thanks for the good reminders!
I am amazed at the immodest dress you see in churches every Sunday, let alone worn to school by the teens and, yes, even pre-teens. My first reaction is "Where are the parents?" And some of these girls have Christian parents, who should know better.
At a track meet, recently, two girls were parading around in almost no clothing, extemely short skirts, heels, and skimpy tops. I wanted to ask them if they had tried to look like hookers or weren't aware that they did!
hey..visiting again :)
i completely agree..i'm not wedding dress shopping, but i swore off shorts when i was in the 10th grade because i just couldn't find any that would have been approved for my behind by my heavenly father! i'm only 22 now, but still don't really wear them and have much less shopping stress because of it!
so for any teenage girls reading, YES you can survive high school with wonderful friends WITHOUT showing your stuff walking down the hallway, or especially at the prom!
Thanks for taking the time to consider my question! I wanted to add that I'm not faced with this dilemma at the moment, but I could very well be in the future, and I want to be prepared. :)
THANK YOU for this post! I agree and PRAISE God for the choice I made to wear a very modest dress at my wedding....I believe that your wedding day of all days, should be a day of complete modesty and respect...the standards have been lowered even by our Christian culture.
Thank you for the plea to seek our modesty! I appreciate your heart and stand for what is RIGHT.
I totally agree!
Ever since I had been a little girl, I always thought of the bridal gown as being maidenly and sweet, and pretty much had the kind of dress I wanted in mind, even before I met my husband. It should, in my opinion, represent purity- and not the opposite.
(You can show cleavage on your wedding NIGHT!) ;)
This is a great post. Modesty is a passionate topic for me, and I'll be speaking to our young teen girls about it in a few weeks! Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Karen
So true indeed. It's worth the extra money for modest clothes. The trends today are just soooo not modest. UGH!
Agreed..but any clues on where to find stylish but modest gown for a pre-teen who performs at formal occaisions on harp. She's about a size 2 and looks about 16. We need a lot of black for orchestral gigs but brides often like pastels. We haven't found anything online (or out shopping) that meets our modesty, style, and comfort needs.
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